SIBLING LOSS GROUP Community Group
GROUP FOR LOSS OF SISTERS AND BROTHERS
The inheritance-my side of the story 7/23/2008
vader
I have to make this a group message.This topic has caused a great many people today to hate each other.What is it? The subject matter is one word-Inheritance.When I was growing up in the 1950s and 1960s-inheritance was only for the rich.My late father would read about it and how it divided families and then dad would laugh and say"Vader-when you have a lot of money.you tend to get bored" I would laugh also.But my late father wasnt at all right.Nowadays people are really saving to give something for their kids and grandchildren.I wasnt so lucky.My father was a working man.He worked all of his life.He worked on the WPA in the depression,the dye houses and such.He was always struggling and sometimes my father and my mother were always broke.Sometimes they would eat frank and beans.My father promised my mother that if anything happened to him..she would never go without.Then it happened.My father came home from the hospital on 11/1/1987.I was 40 years old.He went into the bathroom and took a shower.Then he sat in the chair.Then my sainted father died in my arms.It was a shock.Frank was very upset and I was just upset.Stanley took care of everything.Frank left his job at the college in Florida to come home for the funeral and decided it was best for him to be home.Frank left his dream of retiring in Florida and owning a dog kennel.He knew that he had to take care of my mother for a long time.My father had a will.In it,he was very specific.He left almost everything to my mother and such.The house was paid off.In 1987,my father left me 5,000.00.That was a lot of money back then.He also left the same for Frank and told him to get a better car! Stanley is the executor of the estate and by law in New York.an executor cannot be in the will.His job is to see over the estate.Months passed.I never received my inheritance.My mother decided then that I was still a child and took it! I cannot get it until I am 70 years old.It is tied up and I cannot get it.The other money that dad left me--she took it.She was drinking heavily then and wasnt paying any of the bills.She was going to the tavern and taking the bus to Atlantic City.She would go to Atlantic City at least 3 or 4 times a week.She was always broke.Then she began to borrow money.She borrowed money from the neigbor next store.And began to borrow money from me.She used to hit Frank for all of his check and at the end of the week,he was broke.Frank would get paid every two weeks and I often had to help him out.It was a very vicious circle.We would have terrible fights about the money.Now I realize that mother was depressed and had no place to go.I tried my best to help my mother out and no matter what I did,mother would scream at Frank and me.Thats when I decided to move to seattle and start a new life.I really loved my hometown and I did not want to leave,but we were on the verge of losing the house and car,I had no choice.Guess what? Noone believed me then and now.But I do not make up stories.My mother did not know how to balance a check book,made a deposit,or use a debit card.Now I realize if this was handled different,I wouldnt be with Brad.But remember everyone...always talk about money.As for me,what is 5,000.00? It isnt much to me anymore.But it would help me a little for I have that gas bills and I would like to buy xmas gifts this year.Remember-it is not a sin to talk about money.But wait at least 2 months after the funeral when everyone is sane and you can reason with one another.Ladies-this is why you must learn to handle money on your own.In case of an emergency..what are you going to do? Remember this.Vader.
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