I am not sure if I can help, I am new too. I lost my brother 12 years ago and although the physical pain is less intense, I still wish I could call him. Share laughs and tears with him. My dad passed away in June this year, and it made me miss my brother so much.

I am truly sorry for your loss. The pain must still be so raw. I read that your boyfriend wants you to get over it and move on.
That is insensitive, beyond belief. My husband was the same when my brother passed. He was even jealous of the time I spent at therapy and sabotaged my sessions, by not being able to look after our daughter, or other ridiculous things.

I blamed myself and tried to cry in private but found out many years later that my husband is bipolar and terribly possessive. Possessive even of my feelings.

Hugs is all I can give right now.

I can relate ..my sister was 55 and I lost her the same way 5 weeks ago also.. she was a missionary in Belize and on the day she died she was just doing her normal morning walk. She came home to rest and just died of a heart attack.. no one really knows why. I so understand your grief and pain , I feel psycho myself not knowing what to do without her. i feel lost and confused without my sissy.
I would love to chat with you or anyone any time.