I havent been up to the group and it is a job looking for one.I am going to try to get one meantime Brad left me with very limited funds.I have been very very tired and I am very exhausted.Suicide isnt the way out.Brads sister and I had to clean up his mess! If you are thinking suicide and think this is the only way out...think again.You fail to see just one thing.The pain and misery that you leave behind.Brad and i were together for 12 years.It was going to be 13 years in September and all of this because he couldnt get a loan for the house is silly....I dont have the money for a house and he knew it.So when does the living like me really start living? How can I cope with this stress? If Brad was killed in a auto accident and such...this pain wouldnt be as bad..but suicide...give me a break! And people today just dont know what to say to me.Some have left and she hasnt spoken to me since it happened and she can go jump in a lake.So if she calls me with a problem...I will hang up on her and she knows it.All a person has to say is this.."I heard about BradI.Is there any thing that I can do...would you like an extra 20.00 or would you like to go for lunch...my treat." Is this so hard? I dont believe that people dont have the time to say in touch.;This is an excuse..You see when a crisis arises and the very same people are faced with circumstances beyond their control..who do you think they call? Is this fair? Cant they see how stressed out I am ? And to her..if you see me and I am alone..do not have the gall to ask me what is the matter? I like being alone.I like it.I am an avowed loner..but i am sociable and maybe if you spend time alone...your immature ways would change.And dont talk to me about certain subjects also..I refuse to tell you who I voted for.I am in so much pain.What is left for me?