It will be on August 1st,2008 4 years that I lost Frank and noone in seattle seems to care and she hasnt spoken to me in months.I have been very depressed and because of the budget cuts here I cannot get the treatment.Me and several others were cut from the clinic and we were told not to come back.The letter stated that we were there for 5 years and now the time is tight.They have to help the homeless,the people from Katrina,and the people who are released from Western State,but they also must help the soldiers who are returning from deployment.Today is the first day that I havent cried and havent yelled after Brad leaves.I am in so much pain and it is getting worse.Why dont people want to talk to me about this grief? I figured out the reason and it is this.I do not have money.Money talks in seattle and if I had it,things would be different.I would be able to get the job that I want and not to mention maybe a date with my favorite rock star-Axl Rose.Before he died,Frank said to me "You have to learn to live without me." Then he said to remember all of the good times in the house.Frank began to cry on this date.He told me that he was sorry losing the house..but the both of us would have lost it anyway,I never made a lot of money because of my bi-polar condition and i wasnt disagnosed until 10 years ago.I do miss my room.I miss listening to my records.I have got no privacy in this house..He is always doing something.But remember this-I will never do anything drastic.I will never hurt myself or others.I promised Frank that I would survive and I know that I will see him again.You see Frank told before he died..do not fear the rain.You see my children,when it rain...God cries and the healing will come.He said.And Frank told me before he died this:Every time that I see a dolphin..I am there.Every time that I see a fish..I am there.Every time that I see a cat..I am there.And every time you see a bluejay in the sky..laugh..I did not die.I am asleep.Go with flow,my dear brother,go with the flow and help me get through this..Brad is very difficult to live with.Thanks again,my wonderful brother and friend.Til we meet again.Adios! Goodbye!