hey im new to the group and i  never really have joined or talked to anyone regarding my sexual assault. Im hoping i could make some connections who have been in similar trauma that i have endured. I moved to Kauai to live and start my life because i had went for a birthy get away and fell in love with the island and a a guy. So a year after coming back to california i went back to start my future as a fiance and wanting a family i moved my entire life to kauai because i wanted it to be my forever. long story short my relationship didnt work out and ended up looking for a placce to rent. i had just got a new job and didnt have a car so i wanted to stay in the area of my job. I looked on craigslist and found an older man renting out rooms in this big beautiful mansion of a house on the island. I went to see the place and met the person ( my rapist) and he seemed very nice, sweet and understading to my situation. i moved in the folllowing day it was great i was super excited because it was the first time i was on my own. i ended up having two other roomates and my landlord( my rapist will call him "S") slept in his so called man cave in a garage that practically looked liked a studio. i didnt think anything was wrong with it was because everyone is so low key, traditional in how they live on the Island . One night after work i got home to my room and had a bottle of wine i gift wrapped for a friend. i never interacted with my roomates at all for the month that i was there at all i kept to myself. Well S decided to invite me to chill with him and a friend in the garage. mind you my S is 62 years old the friend was 25. So were were all hanging out i had a beer and so did they, we were actually having a goodtime. i noticed that S woulod get verry upset when his friend was trying to talk to me. it was making him jealous i just figured its the liquor and hes drunk. Well i go inside to use the bathroom 5 mintues later i go back to the garage and i had forgot my sweater so i I go to my room and notice the bottle of wine i had for a gift was missing. i go back to the garage and asked S in a very angry tone did you grab something from my room? His response was i wanted to take something personal from you. at that moment i felt so uncomfortable and even his friend was like weirded out by how he was acting that he decided to leave. so im gathering my things to go back to my bedroom and S starts closing the electric garage door and looks the door that leads you out of the garage and begins apologizing hugging me kissing me on the cheek. At this point i kept saying its fine but ill talk to you when im sober he then grabs my hand and drags me down to sit on the couch. he has one leg over both my legs and has his arm around my neck trying to apologize as i said stop i need to go your drunk he kisses me. He starts trying to get on top of me and pushed him off and said stop im not that kind of girl will talk when your sober you are way out of line. I got back to my room and gather things to take a shower. When i come back to my room i can hear going back and fourth walking into the living room and one of the bedrooms. He then opens my door slightly asking me if he could come in and i said no. five mintues later i waalk out to get water and see him in the hallway, he follows me into my room and has a orange and magenta beach towel and a jar of coconut oil. He tells me if i wanted a massage as an apology and i said no. He then came into my room placed the towel on my bed and kneeled down. i told him to leave and he just kept getting closer trying to masage my shoulders telling mee  to relax. i then tell him you need to get out of my room your making me feel so uncomfortable. He then starts saying he knows im into him and that i was trying to make him jealous with the friend he had over by flirting . i told him no im not into you at all i have never once gave you that insinuation . He then gets on his knees on the bed getting closer and just as im about to get up he pushes  me down on the bed. i only had a dress on and shorts underneath it. i tell him to get off me and he tries massaging my legs and arms and im still trying to get him off. He then starts going up my theight with his hand and thats when i said he needed to get off me or I was going to call the cops. i try once more to braek free he pushes me down and says I know you want this and starts putting his hands up my theighs and inserts them into me. i begin to start crying and screaming for him to get off me. He take off his shirt ,pulls down my shorts and covers my mouth and begins raping me . he raped, bit, scratch pushed me for what it seemed like hours. it was 42 mintues of torture that i will never forget in my life. when i tried getting up after kicking him off he through me faced down and began to rape me (anal) i screamed, i begged and begged for him to stop and he didnt. after he was done i was in shock , i was numb i didnt know what to do. He got up and said if i tild anyone  no one would believe ,me andthat he would hurt me if anyone found out. The following day i reported it . I went through the whole process of restraining order, court dates, grand jury, rape test i did everything so he could pay for what he did. He got arrested in february of 2016 it was a long battle of court dates, tears and i did it all on my own. He was being charged with 5 counts of sexual assault and one 1st for sodomizing. it was a long journet of court dates till December when my lawyer said that there was enough to take him on and that he was only going to pled to one count out of the 5. He was released in December of 3016 and still was going through court. In april of 2017 was the day they were going to sentence him all he got was 2 years probation. i went through so much even loosing my best friend of 15 years to suicide a year after i was raped. it has been very very hard for me to cope with anything. i have been doing thrapy but the fact that he only got probation eats me alive every single day. well thats my story... thank you for taking the time to read.