Sexual Assault Community Group

Women and men around the world are getting sexually assaulted everyday. This will be a friendly place for victims talk about what has happened to them.

86 Members

41 Posts

0 Online

Nakedeye 10/10/2017

Age 4 is the age I could remember being touched for the first time. Who knows it could have been Age 3 or 5 but some reason the number 4 sticks out more. The person who touched me when I was 4 years of age, he was 8 I believe at that time. Well years later we seen each other, I'm 12 now and he's 16. At that age you kind of know from right from wrong but being touch at the age of 4 kind of messes with you thought process. But my question is, me knowingly letting this so called family member have sex with me, is it assault if I didn't say no? If I allowed it to happen? If not what do I call it? I'm 27 years old now, and I just want to let it go. I just want to be over it entirely. The guilt that feel when I think about it hurts so much and I'm just over questioning myself all the time. All I could remember him saying to me is, I'm not your real uncle anyway.

BtrcG 10/20/2017

It was absolutely not your fault. No questions asked. From what you've described my answer to you question would be: yes, I think what happened was assault. You were too young to consent. Even if you were old enough, it sounds like you didn't say "yes". The only way to truly consent to any sexual contact is a willing and enthusiastic "yes". But again, you were too young to consent. A 12 year old should not have that type of pressure placed on them, especially by a 16 year old who should know better.
Have you ever heard of fight, flight, or freeze? When we experience trauma a very natural response is to freeze. It's protective, and sometimes freezing is what we need to do in order to survive. Freezing does not negate assault.

If the guilt is causing you pain you deserve to get treatment to heal that pain. For some people treatment looks like finding a counselor or support group for survivors. For others it may be a group practicing yoga or meditation. However you find treatment remember we heal together - you don't have to carry this pain alone. You were brave to share your story here and ask for advice.

I receive one-on-one trauma-focused counseling once a week to process my own history with sexual assaults. I find it very healing. Many states have free or low-cost therapy for victims of crimes (reported or not). You might also find some support and guidance through the National Sexual Assault Hotline - 800.656.HOPE (4673)

Best wishes in your journey.

CasMac1 12/28/2017

I was sexually assaulted as a child I can remember from age 8 to 13 and then I was raped by my brothers best friend at 15 and got pregnant. My mother kicked me out I had the baby put it out for adoption but I never got through the process of being sexually assaulted by my older brother. I confronted him after years he finally said I touched you in appropriately. I thought what the hell does that me. I was 8 he was 16 he knew better. So yes even yet I have issues with him.
But I am here if you want to talk.

Join the Conversation