Sexual Assault Community Group
Women and men around the world are getting sexually assaulted everyday. This will be a friendly place for victims talk about what has happened to them.
Back in January, I was sexually assaulted by a friend of mine (I was touched without my consent, forced to straddle him, he fondled by breasts, tried stick his hands in my pant several times without my permission,kept asking me to kiss him. I would also like to note that he wasn't allowing me to leave. I kept tellling him I wanted to go home.) For ten months, I knew that was sexual assault. I was broken for months, I isolated myself, planned to hurt myself and I was paranoid all the time. For months I went through hell, absolute hell.
Anyways, about two months ago, my brain was making it seem like I fabricated my claim, I told people he assaulted me to get back at him (even though I never went to the school until a month or so later and I only told my 3 closest friends). For months, I was crying, panicking all the time, wanting to be left alone, I kept replaying it all the time in my head. I tried so hard to forget about it or to downplay it in some way. I tried so hard to forget now I'm trying to remember because I didn't lie about what he did to me. I didn't do it to be malicious either. I tried to forget it and move on but I couldn't let him get away with that. It really hurt me that someone I called a friend did that to me and then all of a sudden the morning after, he wanted to distance himself from me. He knew he messed up and I did too.
Now my brain is calling me a liar and I want to harm myself. I remember all the feelings I had after the assault but my brain just invalidates me. I'm scared because I don't know what to do. If things don't let up, I'll hurt myself.
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The best antidepressant is when my wishes are honored. An example, the faucet in my apartment was running although the knobs were turned shut all the way, and one of the pulling strings on my ceiling fan came off. As soon as I notified my maintenance man, he was quick to reply with the work order. RAPID response... he's getting my services around my apartment done. I appreciate my landlord and...
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Hello,so I'm currently in a weird relationship with my long distance ex who I've never met in person and it's taking a toll on me. I've lost 15 pounds and lost my appetite, but I'm really attached to him. We've had a lot of problems and I think that has caused me to gain severe anxiety. I don't know if I should wait until it gets better or what. Everytime I've blocked him, it has tend to make me...
it took me years to finally realize when I was harassed that it wasn't my fault. took lots of patience, forgiveness and healing. Something we cant do alone. And you have to forgive yourself. Its okay. grieve and be angry if you need to, but find healthy ways to express it. I went to therapy and they gave me great coping strategies. Though in this instance, I think what you need most is forgiveness and self care.
Im glad you reached out, as that can be the hardest part. I know there is a part of you still fighting and id love that part to come out now, to advocate for you. You are heard and are here and you deserve so much more than this.
Does your school have a counselor/therapy group you can get support? Id highly recommend it. I know its scary but, it truly can help you get through this. keep reaching out! you will get through this.
Give yourself love every way you can. Say over and over what you know is true, and that you are valuable and loved and you deserve to be treated correctly. You also deserve to be healthy and free from self-harm! I hope you can find help--any help! Friends, family, counceling, etc.
Stay strong, don't give in to self-harm <3 Sending you healing, love, and light!