Sexless Marriage Community Group
This group is for those people who find themselves married to a partner who has little or no interest in having a sexual relationship. This can be very painful for the other partner and leave them feeling rejected, unloved and unwanted. This is a group to provide support for this very painful and very private issue.
I have been in this group forever, but most who did come here realized it wasn't exactly hopping...so they left. I was excited (not because you all were suffering too, but because there were others to chat with going through some of the same stuff) But now it seems like everyone has abandoned ship.......AGAIN. :(
Turns out, it's a good thing I didn't. We are now back to the way it was before. Last night, after more than a week had now gone by, and the touching and flirting is dwindling, I told him, in a playful manner, to have some caffeine at dinner so he wouldn't be sleepy later. I thought if we just kept the momentum going it could stay that way. But he just got mad and starting berating me, explaining (almost but not quite yelling) that he had a hard day and he is tired. He then proceeded to tell me that he has made plans for the entire weekend, and the next two weekends too. He made it very clear that, not only am I not included in those plans, but that it's selfish of me to even care.
I hope none of you ever has to go through this because I feel like a hole has been punched in my gut. For 10 days, I was on cloud nine, thinking my husband loves me again. Now it's clear that nothing will ever change, so I'm even more depressed than before. I know this is how it will be from now on. Even if he ever does seem to want me, it won't last. I will go for months, or even more than a year, alone and sad, and then he will suddenly want me for a few days. It's so unfair! Why does he get to choose when we do or don't? Why don't my wants and needs come into play? I feel even less loved, if that were even possible. Like those 10 days weren't because he loved ME, or cared about ME, but just to satisfy some biological urge he had. The urge is gone now so he doesn't need to use my body anymore.
It's hard to think about. I need to keep myself busy with other things or I will descend into such depression I might not be able to do the things I need to do. So, I'm off to yoga.
Cheers, everyone.
try to remember how good it did feel while you did have that and do just as you are....Keep on plugging and doing your thing. ...your yoga and what you need to do for you.
Hugs.
We talked for just those few minutes when he came home, then he left again. Gave no indication that when he comes back tonight he will be anything other than tired. He actually said "I'm glad you had fun at yoga, that you're finally doing something for you." I guess that's his way of saying we will always just be roommates again. And me complaining to him the few minutes when he is there isn't going to make him want to be with me any MORE. It was like he RAN out the door as soon as we finished talking. Had to get away fast before I tried to rape him or something. So ridiculous.
From his comment (about yoga) of doing something to make you happy.... I am wondering if he may be defensive when you think more frequent sex is back on the table.....Since he doesn't seem to have the drive like you (most men do want more, not less) maybe he feels pressure when you bring it up . He might feel like it is his responsibility to keep you happy... and he thinks he can't keep up.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I do hope things can work out for you. (You should never have to question or second guess your own wants or needs)