Hello.

I do not know your full story as I am new here.

Please just remember that this is his issue not yours. He is being so nasty because he knows it is him.

Write it all down your emotions and needs. Then if you want rip it up but it is very therapeutic to write it down.

Or give it to him. Let him see your raw emotion. If that does not help then reconsider your options.

You deserve to be happy. This is a very lonely place to be.

Xxx

You should not have to feel bad or guilty for simply asking why things are not "normal" between you.

Tracey is right. Try to remember that this is HIS issue. Whatsmore it is bad enough when we are forced to go through our lives without affection or any physical touch. (For me, I felt undeserving and unlovable at this point....) but then when we actually find the courage to speak up, only to be cruelly attacked and silenced....those words were intended to silence and shame you for simply speaking up.

I have been married for 15 years. For more than the last 10 there has been no affection, physical touch (except an occasional peck here or there) and very little communication between us. For awhile I tried to follow his lead and simply shut down and go through the motions, but it was no way to live. I found myself dreading each new day.

I started to reach out and share with others. From this I would rediscover what it is like to feel again. (Before this, I never dare to believe I have needs, )
From a very special friend (a zillion miles away) I would find all the compassion, support, encouragement . He would not only accept me just as I am, but also encourage me to open up and share whatever was on my mind.

PLEASE KNOW....YOU DO NOT HAVE AN UGLY SOUL. (If anyone does, it would be your "husband"). I think you are probably feeling more of an "emptiness" than anything. We are ALL ENTITLED to our feelings and needs. (I am currently fighting for mine...trying to start a divorce with an uncooperative stbx. After stuffing mine away for so long....I am intent to not do it again.)

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Keep reaching out to others and don't listen to the hurtful words of your emotionless husband.

I too am suffering in a dark lonely place in my marriage, for almost 2 years now, no intimacy, love, touching anything. I have convinced myself that I am not interested in intimacy from him anymore (sour grapes), yet as a human being I still crave the touch of a human being. My husband has allowed bitterness to settle in his heart. Throwing daggers (ugly soul) adds insult to injury. It's like they feed off of our pain. Reprobates.

May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you find peace, love and light

It's my first time here. I posted, and then I saw your post. It sounds like we are singing from the same song book. Literally, I feel your pain. I too feel at a loss and don't want a divorce, but I do want a change. If I had the answer, I would give it to you because i know how bad it hurts. I will say that he needs help and until he is willing to change, it will not change. I wish you the best and will keep looking at the page now and then because I too would love for things to get better.