Sexless Marriage Community Group
This group is for those people who find themselves married to a partner who has little or no interest in having a sexual relationship. This can be very painful for the other partner and leave them feeling rejected, unloved and unwanted. This is a group to provide support for this very painful and very private issue.
Hello group, I have a big question to ask you all/ opinion. Assuming I have done nothing drastic to deserve such abusive treatment (sexless marriage), the same treatment we’re all experiencing. Do our spouses deserve all the other benefits of a marriage? For example, my wife and I use “find my friends” on the iPhone, I have no problem sharing my location but find it odd how she creates a notification to alarm her as soon as I leave the office - she does this no matter where I go. I’m ok with her doing this with the exception I’m not sure why she’s acting like she doesn’t want me to know she’s doing this. What I mean by this is, as soon as I pull out of the parking lot I get a text “have you gotten off of work?”. She knows that I have because she’s received the notification that I left... no clue why she’s playing it off, she obviously doesn’t know I receive notifications on my phone when she does this either.
I find this to be passive aggressive in nature, creepy but I’ve been willing to blow it off for a year now. I also find it unfair she’s demands so much from me but can’t help do anything... she sits at home and reads all day, the House only ever gets cleaned by me, she hasn’t washed a dish in 9 yrs, seldom cooks, stays up till 3am watching gray’s anatomy... I commute 1.5hrs each way, I work 9 hours in the office, wake up every morning at 4:30 am, working on my masters – which drains me, I do woodworking, which always ends up being a project to help her home decorating passion… I make 6 figures, try to be a great husband and father… She just wont open up to me and when I open up, she stonewalls or calls me a pussy and to stop complaining about my life not being perfect.
Would be it childish of me to block her on Find My Friends and simply tell her that I prefer not to share personal details of myself to my “roommate”? That’s all she is any more ☹
From what I have read so far, I am thinking she seems VERY CONTROLLING.. The whole deal with tracking your every move, when, once you are home she doesn't seem to care anyway....does seem a bit stalker like. I am not sure how the basis is of your marriage anymore if there is still love left (To me, I hear more anger and resentment.....that is what is between stbx and I) For me, to stick around and continue to do and give all while getting absolutely nothing except growing resentment is more than I can bare.)
I am wondering if maybe she is actually growing concerned that you may have had enough of the shitty treatment and wants to make sure you don't decide you were planning to leave her? Or maybe she is hoping this is the case so she can try to fight and bleed you dry? I don't know if she is insecure or vindictive or maybe simply very depressed? As angry as you may be....I may be careful about mentioning the roommate deal (even if it is true)
Truthfully, I think you deserve far far better than you are getting and I do wonder why you would stay and continue to put up with it. But if there is still love left between you, maybe suggest counseling? (To me, it sounds like you may be beyond that.) Good luck.