Sexless Marriage Community Group
This group is for those people who find themselves married to a partner who has little or no interest in having a sexual relationship. This can be very painful for the other partner and leave them feeling rejected, unloved and unwanted. This is a group to provide support for this very painful and very private issue.
I'm 26, and my husband and I have been married 2 years but have been together almost 6 years. Our marriage isn't entirely sexless but it has been declining recently. We try and have sex a couple times a week, but on top of everything he suffers from a medical condition that renders him unable to have sex for up to 2 or 3 weeks depending on the severity.
He obviously hates that he has this condition and has said that he's completely okay with me masturbating if I feel the urge to during these times. Given that, I typically might masturbate once a week during those times. Lately however my sex drive has been much higher. In the past 3 months I have been masturbating once a day or so and some days up to 2 or 3 times.
The other day, during a time he was out of commission, I woke up feeling frisky and decided to masturbate while he was in the shower. I don't hide what I do from him but I don't usually flaunt it because I don't want to make him feel worse about things. I was getting close to finishing when he came out of the shower. I'd usually stop but I was so close to orgasm I continued. He stood there and watched me bring myself to orgasm.
Afterwards he said he wished I wouldn't do that. I was a bit shocked because before he had said he was okay with it. I can understand his change of heart because his issues are becoming more frequent, but I have been unable to stop. I'm still doing it with the same frequency only now I am entirely secretive about it, and it's making me feel incredibly guilty.
I have talked about it with one coworker/friend at work who is in her mid-30s, divorced, is very gregarious, and has no trouble talking about how she loves masturbating. Often. (We are stylists at a salon and our conversations can range from racy to downright filthy sometimes.)
Her advice was to get over the guilt and do what I need to do as often as I need to do it. As long as I'm ready to go when my husband is in the mood he doesn't need to know what I've been up to.
I'm still torn.
My stbx hasn't touched me in over 10 yrs. I have resorted to just me and my toys (wore out a couple already... lol) I was always embarrassed (and trying to spare him feeling bad) so I would go off to do my thing. More often than not, he would come popping in on me and I got the eye roll and "Oh God, not again." (Nothing like being guilted and embarrassed for simply being human)
If you do go off and do your own thing and he does happen to walk in again, I would just tell him you were simply doing what you needed to (nothing against him, but to satisfy your own needs at that time.)
Good luck.