Sexless Marriage Community Group
This group is for those people who find themselves married to a partner who has little or no interest in having a sexual relationship. This can be very painful for the other partner and leave them feeling rejected, unloved and unwanted. This is a group to provide support for this very painful and very private issue.
Hello,
I am 39 years of age. I have been with my husband for 5 years. The last 3 years have gone sexless. He doesn't even try to have sex with me. He is 46. I've had sex with him 2 times last year around 3 times the year before.
This year 1 time. Each year is less and less. He does not touch me, cuddle me or show any attention of love other than a kiss when he leaves to work . It's always a dry kiss you would kiss your grandmother.
I use to bring up the lack of sex issue and he would always say, it's because of the way I treat him.
I knew it was a lie because I don't treat him bad.
also on the many days I've gone above and beyond he still didn't try to have sex with me.
it's our gross secret. I don't want to stay with him but I can't afford to leave him.
I can't understand why by it doesn't bother him that we don't have sex.
he doesn't even bring it up.
I don't feel like I am a beauty queen but I can't be as ugly as he's made me feel.
You need to realize this is not your fault, there is nothing wrong with you and you are just as desirable with lots to offer. This is something he is struggling with.
It could be low testosterone levels or perhaps another health reason. What I cannot fathom is what my late husband did...He completely shut down....both emotionally and physically...and expected me to do the same. I was made to feel ashamed and like a sex fiend for occasionally wanting (needing) to be touched. And anytime I tried to bring it up for discussion, he would get offensive and twist the conversation and play the victim. I wound up trying to explain it was not an attack....but never able to tell him how this all made me feel.
When he refused to even try or listen is when anger and resentment did grow.
Hang in there and know you are not alone. To me that was a big relief when I first found this site. There are far too many of us with this awful secret.
Kim
Try to begin to focus on you.. your wants, needs, desires and look for them in other ways. I did come to find so much of what I was missing from others (and eventually from myself as well) rather than still wishing to find some from hubby. (They cannot give what they themselves have never found)
Hugs, Kim