Sexless Marriage Community Group
This group is for those people who find themselves married to a partner who has little or no interest in having a sexual relationship. This can be very painful for the other partner and leave them feeling rejected, unloved and unwanted. This is a group to provide support for this very painful and very private issue.
6 months ago my hubby and I were in a car accident we got t-boned. We've been together for 7.5yrs married since June 2020. He has always has Ed issues, a porn addiction which I made him kick. Cus I don't play 2nd to some videos. And tho there have been times since we've had issues we have had ways to work around it. However since the accident hes been on lots of pain meds, antidepressants and antipsychotics, has had 2 bladder infections which that issue has been resolved. The meds, have affected my husband in a way I wasn't expecting. They have made him completely impotent. He hasn't had an election in 4 months, and I mean at all. Because of his previous issues with Ed and the meds he's on the impotence could (90%) be permanent. I'm 40. He's 34yrs old. I have well a very healthy libido, and am seriously struggling. He encourages me to use my toys and take care of myself however I don't want to go back down the dark path of porn (I was addicted in my 20s) he doesn't seem to concerned about any of this and isn't upset that we may never have sex again. He just doesn't seem to care. I know since the accident he's been dealing with depression, panic attacks, anxiety and physical pain. But seeing how he's reacting to the possibility and again 90% that he won't be able to get it up at all and has absolutely no need for sex at all I'm hurting. I having my own ptsd history have been keeping my distance, physically, mentally and emotionally. I lock the bathroom door so he can't see me naked or in the shower, I at this point have become his caregiver I have to do 90%of the chores around our home tho I am injured too his meds basically put him in zombie mode leaving me the one doing everything. While dealing with my own pain and doing it without meds. I feel like there's no hope for the physical portion of our marriage and all ill ever be is a caregiver for him. I don't even want to see him naked because I know we won't get that portion of our lives back. I don't want to resent him but his lack of emotion about this I find disturbing.
After so long with very little communication,and no emotional or physical contact, I too became just a cook, nurse and room mate. I'm ashamed to say the anger and resentment did grow. In my eyes the fact that I (we) were not enough to even try or reach out for help left me feeling incredibly sad and worthless nd about as sexy as a garden slug.
It's important for us to remember this was their issue... NOT ours. Hang in there. Hugs, Kim
I went to school for being a support worker and it was emotionally draining seeing my clients trapped in bodies they couldn't use, now I see him struggling with his mind and body and since I'm here and I'm more ok then he is because I had to be. This is exhausting.
I'm so sorry u had to live like that, it's def hard.
I'm sorry about your wife she could at least try to figure out why she is having issues. At least see a doc ... or try to have a conversation with u. I mean communication is the key here. I communicated my concerns and he told me he doesn't care that he can't..... she should at least give u something otherwise why is she staying with u? Marriage shouldn't be this hard.
My mom was a caretaker her whole life. Luckily for her my dad passed first and she reclaimed her life but not after what I fear was 40 years of wanting out.
Find the strength to heal yourself physically and mentally, then do what is best and what you can live with. You can’t help others until you heal yourself. That’s what I’m doing in therapy and in my life. We only get one it’s ok to want to live it your way. Life changes and we always have a choice.
Take care
For the longest time I fell prey and was quickly led to try to explain as he steamrolled the conversation to suit his needs. I would always feel more resentful and discounted and some of that anger built up (I think at myself ) for not speaking up for myself.
I finally continued til I told him HOW I FEEL . Not sure how much he heard, but I finally reclaimed my voice.
I do think that puppy may serve you both...him for his PTSD and you for a brief escape and companion to be free, silly and enjoy the beauty still out there on those walks
Fortunately, my brother recovered quickly from the concussion, but the effects still bother him. He can get headaches for changes in the weather, and he's afraid of cars. He is seeing a psychologist now.