Hello, Welcome to the group. Glad and sad you are here. I hope you gain some insight and get some good advice. I am not to the point of a balanced life yet. I am still with my spouse because we have a young child together and I'm finding it hard to leave. But I worry what we are modeling for our child. Our relationship has no love, no friendship. We basically do our best to tolerate each other. It has been 3 years since I've had sex or any kind of touch from my husband. Some days are easier than others. My husband doesn't even get me a card for our anniversary or a Christmas present anymore and we never really celebrated Valentine's Day as that is the day he proposed to his ex. I realize I must make my own happiness and try to surround myself with those that are positive, and caring people. Covid has made this hard. I know if i didn't have my son, or if he were much older, I would leave. I've had a good amount of family members die young and I do believe life is too short to waste. Everyone deserves to be happy. If you can no longer find happiness with your wife perhaps you should leave? Have you tried counseling? Does she care that you are unhappy? IF she is willing to try to make things better then hang in there, if not, consider moving on. Hopefully I'll get some courage and follow my own advice! Hang in there. I am so sorry you are going through this

Maybe you need to have a frank talk with your partner. Tell her how much you miss the intimacy and physical contact. Sometimes couples just need to communicate better with each other regarding their feelings and wants. You could try counseling too if she is open to it. My husband too has shut me out completely sexually. It really saddens me.

Hello, I am sorry you find yourself here.

It is hard to contemplate ending the marriage over this. I'm a 50yo woman and I don't believe I can do it. This is my second marriage and i love my husband, he is a good man. I also fear that my entire family will harshly judge me for leaving a perfectly kind man "just for sex". I am not sure it is an acceptable reason. Then, I ask myself, is grass really greener? Say I leave my marriage, with all the turmoil that would bring to everyone. Then does it mean I will find a relationship where I have sex, but also kindness and a similar way of seeing the world? I was married before and in that marriage, sex was going very well. I had no concept of what people in sexless marriages were talking about. However, as far as husbands go, my first husband wasn't a good one.

Thus the dilemma remains. Is it worth leaving a good relationship, with a good man/woman, "just for sex and affection?". Some people think that's silly. I've been on the dating market and honestly there is slim pickings even as far as good sex goes, let alone a good long term relationship.

What are your thoughts on thse alternatives? Is simply sex that you desire, or would you like emotional intimacy and a serious relationship to eventually develop? Because if it's just sex you want, it may be easier to get than to build a relationship from the ground up, one that will have yet a different set of problems, as all relationships have.