Sexless Marriage Community Group
This group is for those people who find themselves married to a partner who has little or no interest in having a sexual relationship. This can be very painful for the other partner and leave them feeling rejected, unloved and unwanted. This is a group to provide support for this very painful and very private issue.
Hey every one, this is my first time posting on here so please be understanding. So I have been married now about 9 months and we have had sex only a handful of times. We are both LDS members and my husband was a Virgin when we married. On our honeymoon we had sex maybe 2 times in a week and then he always had an excuse as to why we couldn’t have sex.after we got back we would have sex maybe once ever two weeks, but he would be affectionate with me. Since October we have been intimate maybe 7 times and now he doesn’t even want to cuddle or make out with me. My husband has admitted that he has had a porn addiction and has been getting help for about 5 months now and he has been doing really good, but now I’m lucky if we are intimate once a month. I get a peck every morning, when we get home and go to bed, no more cuddles and he seems like he is uninterested completely. I have tried to just make out with him and talk with him, he says there is nothing wrong he’s just “tired and we can tomorrow” but tomorrow comes and nothing changes. I feel so unwanted and like there is a disconnect with us now that was never there before. I have got to the point of I’m tired of feeling and being rejected no matter what I try that I just am going to give up on having sex all together except when he is ready. I just don’t know what to do because I love my husband with everything I have and know he has not cheated on me but I feel like I’m sleeping in the same bed as my best friend and room mate.
The fact that he did admit to you that he has a problem and has been seeking help for these past few months at least gives you a reason. For me though, after this amount of time , the fact that things don't seem to be improving much would concern me. Have you tried telling him how this is making you feel? (Sometimes, they may have no idea how hard it is for us. Be wary though, because sometimes they get defensive and try to shift the blame onto us.) Or has anything been suggested for you both to try counseling together?
My heart goes out to you because I know all too well what this does to our self esteem and ego.... and I have been a "roommate, cook, housekeeper, and nurse" for the past 10 out of 15 years instead of a wife like i signed on to be. STBX shut down both physically and emotionally for all those years. the thing is, he is content like that. For me, it was no way to live You and your hubby are so young and just starting out... this is no way to do it.
Just remember, you are still the same girl he married... just as attractive, smart, and wanted as you always were. Right now, HE is the one with the problem. It is nothing you said or do or don't do.( Many of us on here often get accused of being selfish, aggressive or sex fiends when really we are simply human and craving simply to be touched and loved by our spouses again. Don't let anyone convince you of this)
I am a firm believer everything happens for a reason. (Maybe this is just an obstacle to help you two strengthen your marriage from the get go? )
My thoughts and prayers are with you. hang in there.