Sexless Marriage Community Group
This group is for those people who find themselves married to a partner who has little or no interest in having a sexual relationship. This can be very painful for the other partner and leave them feeling rejected, unloved and unwanted. This is a group to provide support for this very painful and very private issue.
I am 64 and have been married for 1 year. Before marriage our sex life was great. He is 66 and right after marriage, he stated he was no longer interested in sex. Since marriage, we have had sex 3 times. He is loving in other ways. Likes to cuddle and kiss (not on lips). i have tried to discuss but is getting nowhere and he refusing to discuss with doctor. I am at the end of my rope. Is starting to consider cheating or leaving, but I love him and want marriage to work. About to give up, please advise.
But, please don't cheat. If you feel bad now, cheating is only going to make you feel worse, in the long run. I would never, ever cheat on my husband and am adamant about that but still it has crossed my mind because I feel rejected. Cheating will completely wreck your marriage.
I don't know why some men are like this. Hubs and I before we were married were like bunnies. Of course, our sex life settled down to something comfortable for us. Then, after my hysterectomy, I expected it to resume but it never did. I do know, that the lack of connection is disintegrating our marriage. Somewhere deep inside me, I'm angry. Today I felt like throwing in the towel. I have no patience for life's little bumps when he's withholding from me. Sounds terrible, I know. It's not like I'm all that interested in sex but it's the rejection and isolation that's getting to me.
In another group about sexless marriages here on this site, someone mentioned that he had to begin changing the situation by changing himself. A sort of inward evaluation. And, he's right, I know. I've joined this group for support so that's a step in the right direction. And you've taken that step too! We both have to hang in and see if we can navigate though our respective situations. As you can see, I'm right along with you struggling to find my way.
I am amazed at how many people do struggle with our same problem... a spouse who is content with no sex. (and the fact that it affects both men and women ) Some of us crave that connection, others are completely oblivious and just fine without it. In our case, I have been giving 110% getting 15% back (if I am lucky) in our marriage, I have grown so tired , angry, and resentful, I have filed for divorce. He does not want it. (He is content) I feel I am nothing more than a roommate, cook, maid and nurse. (I NEED to be touched and feel that connection and closeness that being intimate brings ... to feel loved, wanted and alive again.)
It sounds like you both do have other things (still some affection...) to hold you together, Imho, keep trying to communicate how the situation makes you feel and what you need. Also keep reaching out here (or if you have another issue in another group as well?) My thoughts and prayers are with you both. (PS, I have orders in for magic wands for all of us!! haha)
I am at my Wits end.