Welcome to the group! You are definitely not alone. No one understands until it happens to them.

The statistics say around 20% of marriages are sexless.

My husband and I have been married almost 18 years, we are both 40. We have been together since we were 17, high school sweethearts. I too long for the days when all I had to do was touch him and he would become aroused.

We had "date night" tonight. Went out with some good friends. Dinner and a comedy show. I placed my hand on his while he drove, throughout dinner and the show and he never once reciprocated. The whole time I kept thinking how great it would be to come home to a house with no kids and make love. But of course that won't happen.

Once home, I placed my arms around him, kissed his neck, he just walked away and sat down.

So now I'm in the bathroom crying and posting to try and handle the rejection.

I completely get it and it is so hurtful. To no longer be wanted by the person you are so in love with.

It's not about the sex. I'm sure I could "hook up" but I don't want that. I want him.

It's been 7 years since we have had sex. Each day of those 7 years I have felt rejected. It is really hard to even get enough nerve up to reach for him.

I'm so sorry you are going through this, it is not something I would wish on anyone.

My husband also will not talk about it. I often wonder if it's a medical issue but he won't go to the DR either .

How long has it been going on?

Thank you for responding.
I couldn't imagine 7 years of not having that connection. It's only been about a year but it feels like an eternity. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do this much longer. I haven't eaten in 2 days all I want to do is sleep and cry....I have this emptiness that I am coping with well at all....I don't understand how this happens so suddenly....
Very heartbroken right now

It's been hard to deal with that's for sure, but everything else is great! He's a good provider, a good father to our children, he's trustworthy, he handles finances well. I've stayed because the good outweighs the bad but some days are harder than others.

But I honestly don't know if I can go through this for the rest of my life. That is what I struggle with daily.

I have the opposite problem, I have used food as my coping mechanism so I know my weight gain has added to the problem.

At least he's acknowledged the issue, mine hasn't. And he seems willing to go to the DR, maybe offer to go with him? If it a medical issue and he gets medication, maybe things could go back to some sort of normalcy.

I'm new here too. I'm glad that there is a place to find support. You are not alone. I've been married 8 years now and we've had some rocky parts and some great parts, but I consistantly feel lonely because we are not physically intimate. We go through cycles of good and not so good periods, but when we had our first child, we were not intimate for 14 months. Now we have a 3 month old and I'm worried that this'll happen again. My wife thinks that she has some kind of PTSD because I've had problems with addiction to porn, which hurt her deeply, as well as me being overly persistant that we be sexual more frequently in the past. The longer we go without having sex, the harder it is for my wife to feel safe being sexual and the more I fear we'll never have sex again, so the more I push for us to be sexual and the more I shut her down. It's a bad cycle.

My marriage covenants are very important to me, so I feel stuck in a position where I may never have my sexual needs met. I know the trapt feeling that you have.

What about healing though? This is my new focus: 1. work on acceptance and serinity. I'm trying to feel love in other forms from the great things that my wife does. 2. creating a good environment. I'm working on sweeping my side of the street. Without being manipulative, I'm trying to meet her needs by connecting emotionally and giving her the support that she needs. I'm also trying to develop my masciline traits and be more decisive and a better leader.

Do you know of any other options? What can we do on our end to improve our situations?
Thank you for your support!

i am in the same boat as tge rest of you....my wife loves me, but does not desire me. she doesn't see me as a man...at first, there was frustration and anger and resentment. in time, the sharp pain has become a dull ache as the years have passed. our life together is happy in other respects. i tell myself this is the "worse" in for better or worse"...and i try to focus on what we have and not what we lack...but every once in a while, a little voice in the back of my head asks if i'm truly ready to give up on the dream of passion, romance and intimacy with my wife. i have no answers. no solutions. but i feel your pain because it is also mine.