Sexless Marriage Community Group
This group is for those people who find themselves married to a partner who has little or no interest in having a sexual relationship. This can be very painful for the other partner and leave them feeling rejected, unloved and unwanted. This is a group to provide support for this very painful and very private issue.
I guess I'm here because I'm tired of my words falling on deaf ears... I'm tired of begging for love affection and sex... I'm stuck in not only a loveless relationship but a sexless one as well. We have 2 young kids and I don't want to leave because I don't want to be away from my children, and if I'm being honest I love him and wish he'd love me back, but here I am. I just don't honestly know how I'm supposed to live the rest of my life this way ?! Or at least until the kids are grown and then will I even want sex anymore ?! I really wish I had some magical answer to make him love me again and have sex with me ?! I'm so depressed over it as well. He never compliments me and for that matter points out my flaws (as a joke ) haha so funny when he doesn't have sex with me. But he expects me to be happy and make him laugh. I try and push my feelings of rejection away and be more playful and laugh with him and I'm just ignored. Everything else is more important then touching me, video games, sleep, his hobbies in the basement. I feel like I'm at a breaking point where I've even said to him fine if you don't want me and I want to have sex so I guess I should search out other people ?!! But that's not truly what I want I just want him , but he doesn't want me I guess ?! Has anyone been here ?! I'm glad I decided to join this group and maybe it can help me in some way ... thanks for listening...
It’s taken some time for us to both admit this. I’m ready for affection to flow in an effortless way and that means an end of one relationship to make space for another.
Change is sad sometimes but it’s healthy too. I hope you take care of yourself and find a way to make yourself heard.
When our spouse no longer wants to bother with us our self esteem hits rock bottom as it is.....then to have him "joke" and nit pick with little digs is incredibly hard. I often felt about as desirable as a garden slug.
The thing is....you need to realize that HE is the one with an issue or problem here. You are still young,desirable and human to want affection, human touch (and probably a little help with the house and kids?)
Have you tried to explain to him how YOU feel? And what you miss or truly need?
(Be prepared as they often either ridicule us or try to blame us. This is so they can control the conversation.....and stop us.)
I better stop or I will write you a book here. Sorry, All who know me know I can be way too chatty.
Again welcome. Sorry for what brought you here....but know others have also been through this same awful thing and do care and support you.
Hugs, Kim
Thank you for posting your problem. Are exactly my words and couldn’t say better. I am exactly in the same situation actually becoming worse every day. I am trying to do everything possible as a human being to be that lovely husband but is NOT working baby. And I can say is not my fault and is not yours either. When I expressed my problem years ago here some members jumped on me telling me that I am the problem etc. I stopped writing and thought maybe I was wrong and start work even more with my self. Results = zero.
Nothing. My spouse she doesn’t care at all. She said I don’t want it and so you should not. WTF? I have masturbate more in my fourties rather than when I was a teenager. So from now on I am thinking to move on. I am not divorcing yet for different reasons but I am not sitting down and play with my dick craving for love craving for that touch craving for a girl that loves sex and want sex. I would say go and find a lover that can fulfill your needs. Please enjoy your self. I would be more than happy if you want to talk in private for any support. I feel you. I send you a lot of hugs
Yeah I've been sexless for the entire marriage. Actually the entire relationship.
I'm gaslighted all the time!
My husband is a good provider and a hard worker. But when the kids go to sleep, he games online or on his phone. Spends $$$$ a month in "mods" for his games.
He refuses BJs. In 8 years has never asked for one. When he initiates sex, its half assed and he loses his erection within seconds.
I started to question whether or not I am actually worthy of someone wanting me sexually. Like I find myself reminiscing of the times I had one night stands or past lovers.
When I talk about that he literally tries to convince me it didnt happen. Like if I said a hooked up with people in college he'll say "I doubt that." Like wtf!
Or if I say I need to shave my legs or put make up on for work, he says why? No need.
Sometimes I feel she’s like an energy vampire
It’s easier to go record music alone in my studio than to be around her constantly draining me and I get nothing in return except a lower self esteem
I'm sorry for being captain obvious, but have you suggested couples counselling?