Sexless Marriage Community Group

This group is for those people who find themselves married to a partner who has little or no interest in having a sexual relationship. This can be very painful for the other partner and leave them feeling rejected, unloved and unwanted. This is a group to provide support for this very painful and very private issue.

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Relationships & Sexuality
/ Sexless Marriage Support Group

Husband doesn't want me

Iwish1121
Iwish1121

My husband jokes he is a lesbian, watches lesbian porn and we haven't had sex in 2 years and only twice in 5.  I have always been highly sexual in relationships.  I thought maybe this lack of sexual pressure is good for me to develop other intimacies.  He has excuses, in time it will happen...etc.   I stopped being affectionate and also because of rejection.  He will go out of his way for others but not me.


If I am really affectionate and I  get turned on then I think about sex, want it and wish for it.  I turned it off.  To stay faithful to a good man in so many ways I turned off and gave up what I thought I would never do without.


He jokes about divorce, says sexual things about other women but his impotence is not something I can fix.  


I really feel like he doesn't want me.  I work on me....I am healing me.  I don't know if 10 years from now I will then be admitting in counseling that I  haven't had sex in 15 years because I fail at men.  This is my third marriage the other two the only good things was sex.  This time the only bad thing is no sex and feeling we are just friends.  


Anyone else think their husband might be asexual and you are forced to be too if you want to be faithful?

finallyawakenow
finallyawakenow
If he’s a lesbian shouldn’t you be getting some good oral? Better than nothing and a possible start to more. I wish at times I was asexual, cause then I could have it with myself.
wantmore
wantmore
I feel for you as I am in the same situation. From every day when we first got together 15 years ago, to now once every three years or so. I get rejection when I ask for a cuddle in bed. I've forgotten how it feels to be hugged. If we go out h will insist on holding my hand, then at home nothing. From various xcuses of my a little overweight, to him bring tired it has become it's because I'm moody or look unhappy or I'm trying to control him. I was thinking he may be 'asexual' but I've found he has been using porn on a regular basis. I guess I was hoping he was asexual but now I guess it's me that doesn't do it for him.
Iwish1121
Iwish1121
There is oral on occasion but I am not a lesbian and it is good but is without passion. I want actual sex. I want to feel desired, passion and that lusty need for someone who makes you feel like a truly sexual being.
I try not to think it's me.
However, maybe it is. I stopped reading any book with romance in it. I don't watch romantic movies. It just makes me wish.
Mellanie
Mellanie
I really understand you 'cause I am in a very similar situation. But don't believe anyway that the problem is you. No way! Who rejects intimacy and sex is him, not you. I really ask to myself what kind of jail is that we are obligated to live a celibate life. It's at least a very cruel veredict.
talespinner1965
talespinner1965
I have been with my second husband for over 5 years now. He started having problems sexually three months into our dating period. Now, his sex drive is completely gone. We are both very active and healthy. He has seen a urologist who said he had no idea why he was having a problem. This is the love of my life and I'm his. He says he doesn't understand it himself. I can't do without the intimacy that comes with sex and he won't even touch me now. We talked about it until there was nothing else to discuss about it. Now it's just the white elephant in the room. There doesn't seem to be anything left to do but commiserate with others with the same problem.