There are many of us here (from 20s to 70s) and many reasons would bring things to this point. Unfortunately, none of us can ever really pinpoint when ... or how to fix it.
A birth of a child, some health issue that pops up, her feeling unloved, unattractive or maybe feeling overwhelmed with too much to do with no help from you.... any of these could contribute. Men can wind up with low testosterone and little desire, women can wind up premenopausal (also with little desire)

I am wondering if you have tried to talk with her to share how this makes you feel? When one of a couple simply has no desire or need for sex, they often become agitated when confronted and try to turn it all around on us (making us feel like a sex fiend, when we are simply human and simply want to feel that connection with them)

Welcome to the group . I have found while there is no magic cure, for me, it has helped to have somewhere to share with others also going through the same thing. My thought and prayers are with you.

Hi. Last year I was in your situation. So I understand the feeling. There wasn’t any one moment that caused us to drift apart. Rather a string of moments that we failed to connect in. Working too much, becoming overwhelmed by life and instead of working as partners we internalized everything and stressed about issues alone. Terrible habits were formed. We got to the point were we would lie in bed awake (right next to eachother) and be stuck in our own heads until falling asleep. A sigh and a ‘good night ‘. Fortunately I was dropped (literally) into a mid-life crisis and made the decision to get myself healthy. No TV, alcohol, processed food. Exercise, balanced diet, yoga came in to replace the negative energy. And most importantly, I took responsibility for myself and personal happiness. I knew our marriage was failing so I decided to not fail myself or her anymore. Even if we divorced I wanted to be in her life. So after about four months I was feeling better about myself and this confidence gave me the courage to open up the long put off discussion about the rest of our lives. She was reserved to start but she had seen my progress and realized that I was determined to live a healthy life. And she also saw that I was ready to let her go if we couldn’t resolve our issues. That was a big moment. I have been patient and kind and daily tell her how attractive she is to me on every level. Didn’t push for sex. I massage her feet while we talk and it’s been amazing. We had forgotten to appreciate eachother. So now a year later we are closer than we have ever been. Ironically she has some physical issues that keep her from enjoying sex. We are working together to heal ourselves in the meantime. Because at this point she would if she could. I don’t pressure her. I just enjoy her company. For now that will have to do. We hug and cuddle now and I highly suggest bringing that back. (if it’s faded also). Long story and my point is that we had lost trust and you can’t be intimate without trust. I had to seek my happiness within in order for her to feel my commitment to her. So if there is one point in time it would be when we stopped working on our own mental and physical strength. I hope this helps a bit. I have been thinking about this for a long time and finally feel like I have some answers. COMMUNICATION with LOVE. Talk and if the defensive walls come up stop and think about why they appeared. That will signal both of you what is being avoided. Look deeply without the egos and you will get there

I can pinpoint it in my own relationship. My husband works construction. He would alway be "too tired" for sex. Understanding that id accept that answer and pounce on him as soon as i noticed the slightest bit of energy. Eventually i learned that while he was to tired for sex he was not too tired for porn and solo sex (aka lazy sex). His "stress relieve" was a gut wrenching punch directed at my self esteem as i realized he was gratifying himself while turning me down. My self esteem took a beating. My self respect became a distant memory. I spent over a decade in a "sexless" marriage begging him to help me fix it. Eventually i decided i had had enough. I told him i want a divorce. Thats pinpoint #2 by the way. That declaration became the founding moment of my sexlass marriage turning into a "no sex marriage. I honestly prefer it this way. Knowing sex is not an option is MUCH easier than having sex once a month at most and always being left wanting more.

@escape. That’s so sad he put you through this. Porn is the devil in my view. (not literally) I am worried that many people and relationships are being torn apart by it. When I read about how the romans became such gluttons for base pleasure before the fall I can’t help but draw a correlation with our society. I hope after your divorce that you can leave the resentment for him behind and find a healthy relationship. Bests. @gm1 : I hope you can reach out to her and make her feel special and desired. Hold her whenever you can. Someone needs to take the first step. Good luck.

GM1, I understand what your going through. I’ve only been married for a little less than 4 years. My son will be leaving for college in two years, so I’m waiting until he’s out the door. My 2nd marriage has been sexless now for 3 1/2 years. I’ve given up all hope especially now since my situation has gotten worse. My wife was diagnosed with Lupus a few months ago. I’m trying to hang on until he’s out the door. From what I’ve read sexless marriages for the most part stay that way. I wish you luck.