Hi. So sorry you are experiencing this. I know it's not easy. I am going on 17 years of marriage and for the past 7 years, we have had no intimacy which has been extremely difficult.

I've tried to get my husband to go to counseling but he won't. Can't even get him to talk about it.

We just live as roommates raising kids. I'm not happy with how things are but I am still in love with him and he's an excellent father. There is just no more "us".

Not sure how much longer I can continue as we are. I wish I knew how to change things and make him happy but I've tried unsuccessfully for years. In a lot of ways, I've given up but I have not moved on/ divorced.

I guess that's all we can do is give up. My wife just the other day told me after were laying naked in bed and doesn't want sex but likes me to scratch her back , that I did good not making any advances sexually on her! I just told her she has me trained well! They just don't get it! I am now thinking of going to the therapist alone since we've gone together and nothing. I just need to talk

If in western mass I have a good one

I definitely need a therapist. And then more than a therapist.

I've gone alone myself from time to time. It does help. It's just hard because some days are easy and others not so much. Every hour, day, week, month and YEAR that goes by without holding hands, kissing, making love, makes the feeling of constant rejection grow.

He's the one I love. He's the one I want. His opinion matters the most out of anyone else in this world and to feel like he has no interest in me physically, is unbearable.

Hopefully you can find someone local that will help. Let us know how it goes!

A13x, sorry you are going through those issues. Yes, go find yourself a therapist for you. Focus on loving yourself. Under physiologytoday.com you can find therapists information.

My husband and I have been married 20 years and the first 2 years the sex was fine after that was downhill. He cheated on me many times and like a good wife I was always trying to work on us. He would always refuse to go to couples therapy until I decided to pack and leave. But he only attended therapy for 3 sessions and stopped because he flet judged. Haha
Let me add that he is addicted to weed. Many say weed is not addictive and is not harmful. I can tell you it is damaging if you smoke it longterm.
He acts like nothing is wrong and that having no sex is perfectly fine. He walks around the house saying I love you and i dont feel it anymore. We have not been intimate for 18 months and I am sure he is not cheating and no longer care if he does. What is so depressing to me is how much time I wasted with someone like him. I was so loyal and a good wife. I got a slap on the face for all those years. I am angry and resentful and that is not how I want to live the rest of my life.
Many of us begin to make excuses and close our eyes so we don't see the reality. I have been trying to leave this relationship but I use my son as an excuse. I say until he is an adult I can file for divorce. Too many years being ignored, humiliated, cheated, lied that I want to help myself to get out. I started going to alanon support groups and to a therapist for codependency.

So please focus on you and love yourself.