Sexless Marriage Community Group
This group is for those people who find themselves married to a partner who has little or no interest in having a sexual relationship. This can be very painful for the other partner and leave them feeling rejected, unloved and unwanted. This is a group to provide support for this very painful and very private issue.
I am a 38 year old mother of 2. I've been married to my second husband 3 years. My 13 year old is from a previous marriage. I was married to her father 10 years. But he had constant affairs.
my current husband and I met in the military. We were friends and co workers. From the start I thought it was odd that he only initiated sex 1 a week. It started to dwindle a few weeks in. Now he never initiates. Says he has a headache. Says he's sick, he's tired, he's anxious, he's busy. He'd rather play video games. It's strange that when he was single he used to go to strip clubs and have one night stands. But now that he's with me, there are 40 other things he'd rather do! My self esteem is shot. Even though I'm a successful professional, I feel so disgusting. I don't know what man turns down a bj? A massage? Anything? I just wanna shrivel up and die sometimes.
One thing that I've learned is that I cannot make decisions about my worth from the judgments and actions of my wife. I don't mean to be rude, but there is something broken in my wife and in her sexuality. Although, at times I do it, I know that it is foolish to base my worth, value, and attractiveness on the thoughts and actions of a women who is in some way sexually broken.
I hope that things can improve for you. We're rooting for you.
When you described your husband refusing oral, alarm bells of erectile dysfunction rang in my head. Tons of men are terrified to admit to it. Is there any evidence that he can still become aroused? Would he be open to you asking about it?
I would also say maybe it is a medical issue (ED, or simply low testosterone levels) that does cause him to shy away. Have you ever asked him?
I also hope you do realize that there is nothing wrong with you. So often when completely shut down, ignored and not even being touched we can easily begin to feel about as sexy as garden slugs.... Fact is... you are still young attractive desirable passionate woman who is human and deserves to be (and feel) loved. We all do.
Hugs, Kim
But recently I start my days with saying... I'm AM a beautiful woman inside and out even if he can't see it. It does help. And when I start to doubt it. I say it again. Don't let your value come from him. Stand tall and be strong. It seems like alot more people are living this sexless life than we ever would have imagined.