Sexless Marriage Community Group
This group is for those people who find themselves married to a partner who has little or no interest in having a sexual relationship. This can be very painful for the other partner and leave them feeling rejected, unloved and unwanted. This is a group to provide support for this very painful and very private issue.
I have been married for almost 14 years. I got married excited and very in love with my husband. At first I thought he was shy because he was not very sexual but if he looked for me from time to time or I had the initiative to be intimate and he would respond. I got tired of seeking intimacy with him and wanting to be desired. My husband says he is always tired and I always tried to understand him until it was no longer possible. We have two beautiful children that I don't want to mark their lives with a divorce. I had a very happy childhood with my parents together and I cannot take that away from my two children who are still very young. I have lived nights of loneliness, anguish, guilt, disappointment, anger, fury, despair, tears, and I get nowhere myself. I have talked to him thousands of times, about how I feel away from him and that I wish I had someone who loves phisically and wants me, he knows and understands what happens to me, but it is not enough to help our or MY situation. I think he is asexual. He says he likes me and I know he loves me very much what makes him the best friend or the best man outside of the room but a cold piece of ice in bed, that hurts me deeply every day, every night. Now I am to the point that his kisses bother me beacuse I dont understand how he can be ok just with that. He kisses me everyday and every night I wish I had somebody and then I feel guilty. I think I will move to another room that way I do not want sex that way I don´t feel ignored. I am planning on start taking therapy to get ideas of how to deal with a life I never wisshed.
I think we all want and need to feel desired, sexy and loved... and when we don't have that it is natural to want it desperately from wherever we may find it Hugs, Kim
PS Therapy and chatting here is a good idea to help as we all need someone to talk to.
I went to my first therapy and she told me that I need to take a desition first before start working in my selfsteem and my options are 1-see a sexologist 2-selfsatisfacition 3-divorce or 4-find a lover.
I should ocnsider myself lucky because I can talk to him, he is not agressive, he seems to understand m,e but we do not get farther of a weak promise of things will change and then 13 years passed with the same cycle but every year harder and falling stronger for me.
My husband did pass away January of 2020. I started divorce almost 2 years before but postponed to try to reduce finances first (plus he always seemed to have another issue pop up and I felt guilty so prolonged it. )
I was sleeping in another room forever. There was never any offer or request except a kiss goodbye or hello. I never told him no more, but did occasionally have an excuse to skip it. There is something to be said for feeling uncomfortable (or almost forced) to display affection. In my mind, there was so much resentment for the fact it was a half hearted effort. I finally got past feeling guilty. I hope you do too.
I never heard of a sexologist. I think I want one. :)
Hang in there.
is my confident, but is not the same than talking with a straight friend, She sentt me 2 toys and yes it is NOT .the same, sometimes I get mád at them for not being be as good as a.man and sometimes I am just glad for the gift