Sexless Marriage Community Group
This group is for those people who find themselves married to a partner who has little or no interest in having a sexual relationship. This can be very painful for the other partner and leave them feeling rejected, unloved and unwanted. This is a group to provide support for this very painful and very private issue.
I cannot believe this is my reality. Anyone's really.... I can remember a time where all he wanted to do was kiss me or be close to me. When he would complain he just wanted to be alone with me, but the kids were always around. But now... I can parade through the living room in my underwear and he doesnt even look. We never have sex... it was great until we got married. We didn't even have sex our wedding night... and in the almost 7 years of marriage I bet we've had sex 5 times or less. Only twice in the last 4 years. When I bring it up, he twists it to blame me.... I am so resentful and hurt. And no matter what I do, I can't help being mad. He shows more affection and care to pets than me. He makes it out like I'm the distant one. Why can't he see the physical rejection has pushed me away?? We don't share a bed. I sleep on the couch. Been that way for years. I am planning to move to a spare bedroom asap. The last fight he said it's my fault I sleep on the couch. I told him it's his for pushing me away. He never held me or made me feel wanted. He hasn't changed. Its so hard to give up on someone you love... it's killing me a little more everyday. But feels good to let it out. Thanks
You mentioned him always twisting things and blaming you..... This is what they do. When they are the one with the problem and they really don't want to face it... they automatically get defensive. They know all too well this will stop things dead in their tracks.
The thing is to remember that you are human and it completely normal to want and need affection and communication. You are not the problem. Have you considered trying to go back to the bed for a few days to see if it gets a bit less tense? I will say because of health issues I did wind up going to the recliner. The thing was, after so much time passed... the anger and resentment built... til I was just content in my own space.
My hope is that you are able to tell him how you feel. (Maybe try counseling?) Or simply keep connecting and commiserating with others,
For me. it did help to know there was not something wrong with me and I was far from alone. I would come across many here on DS who have been through similar circumstances . It does help sometimes to open up and share our pain as well as support each other.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. (and hugs) Kim
He constantly lies, jumps at every chance to prove me wrong on everything so he can shout me down....We don't sleep in the same bed and he is too lazy to have sex and prefers to casually lay back and watch porn.
He puts himself first before anyone else, except his friends. He has always himself before his kids (who are grown now and they can't stand him).
I want a divorce but he refuses to leave and take everything from me. Anything of value was purchased by me, including the down payment on the house which I got from my own father. Yes, we are legally married. However, he sees anything I buy as his and anything he buys is ONLY his. He has taken everything from me.
He works but misses a lot due to "illnesses" that pop up on Mondays and they are different each week. That causes us to be short on bills but doesn't faze him because he always spends the same amount of money each week on himself.
I am exhausted and get no help and have to do things for him after working all day (cook, laundry, clean up after him,etc.)
He says he "loves" me but his actions in no way show it. We are just like roommates with fringe benefits for him.
He never communicates or talks with me but he worships his "friends" (they are back stabbing drug users). He doesn't love me and just wants a substitute mom because she was never there for him.
Is he an addict as well? My husband was but has been clean and sober for 4 years... (I hope) and I've been through the can't hold a job, the calling out etc. When life gets too much he just goes to bed and sleeps for days.... and I have had to do it all. His oldest is 25 now and refers to me as mom. We text almost every day. But he won't even return her calls. These men are selfish and self centered. And I do have to mother mine as well.. its frustrating. Recently I have come to the resolve that "I don't care" If he wants to be the jerk fine... I am slowly cleaning out the house and saving money. Because if he doesnt change I'm gone... I deserve better and so do you!!! Put yourself first sometimes... and find ways to make you happy.
It is a shame it takes us so long and we are willing to put up with so much before we finally have enough. But we DO deserve better and do need to focus on what we need (Lord knows they won't)
Sending good thoughts prayers and some strength and courage for us all.
Kim
This probably must be a bit of a rant.
Thanks for reading!
NOT LETTING HER GO!
I’m so frustrated and at my wits end.
Never in all my years since dating, have I ever dealt with this problem. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, as soon as I moved in with him a year ago, things have went downhill.
The sex slowly declined, over a span of months, I’m a highly sexually active person, he knows this. We used to be intimate, we used to have sex multiple times a day, he would always hold me or touch me in some type of way, things started to decline little by little. It drove me nuts. We have had numerous conversations about this and the way things are heading, he tells me he’s stressed, he’s depressed, he doesn’t trust me etc, I have heard every excuse you can think of, nothing changes. It’s flipped around on me and me nagging that I don’t receive any affection hugs, kisses or sex. So I stopped nagging, got into a positive mind frame about it all, still nothing changed.. now it’s been 3 months since I have last had sex, I can’t tell you how long it has been since he actually held me with out having an argument and bawling my eyes out to have him wrap his arms around me willingly.
The worst is when u take the time to doll yourself up, spend hours on your hair, makeup lingerie etc and get turned away. There’s is nothing more damaging feeling un wanted. I’m so depressed, I cry all the time over nothing, now I’m at the point I don’t even want sex, I just want to be held and felt loved. I can’t wrap my head around why this is happening, I literally try so hard to please him, to do things for him, to be there for him and he can’t take 10 minutes to lay on a couch and hold me? I’ve stopped doing things for him and still nothing changed. All day I watch him cuddle his dog, kiss his dog constantly telling his dog how much he loves her, and I can’t even get a hug? I’m getting jealous over a dog now, I’m loosing my mind, I feel like I’m drowning. My self esteem is at 0 I feel like I’m disgusting or something is wrong with me, I feel un wanted, un attractive and trying to make things better makes me feel worse. We don’t go anywhere together except the grocery store, I feel like I embarrass him because we don’t go anywhere, but he will take his clients out for dinner or his son out for dinner and I’m left at home. When I talk about my feelings I get I’m sorry. If he’s so sorry why is no effort getting put in to help change this? I’ve mentioned counselling that gets dismissed. I have never encountered this problem before in a relationship, previous relationships the sex never stopped, I was always made to feel loved in some type of way. This is mind blowing and I’m drowning here.