No. Of course it’s not supposed to be like this. I think that any mental health issues (depression/anxiety ect ) can make it so much harder to enjoy any of life’s pleasures. Like getting excited about a rainbow, a shooting star, or sex. And the more time that passes the distance from intimacy increases. Making it all seem so big and impossible to get back. Maybe try to get him to look at it from a different perspective. The more you can fool around, the happier you both may feel. Like working a math problem from the answer back. Stranger things have happened Instead of stressing about having sex, wonder why not have it more to feel better?

You are in the right place. I've been married for over 30 years with sex, the marital bed , intimacy and emotional connection has victims that have slowly fallen to of my wife's withdrawal from ... everything.
Lately we've been trying to rekindle but her try is intermittent and a normal honest woman has made promises she chose not to keep.
She says she has no libido due to a hysterectomy , but I'm seen rare occasions where I know she did. . Apparently it is only her feelings that matter. i must of missed that part of the vows! My hurt and self loathing is partially being redirected as anger. How do you try to fix a relationship at the same time you are seething and she will neither talk or arrgue about it?
I'm at the point where I feel like letting off the pressure with smart ass comments like: "Hey honey we're out of ice could you touch my water glass to chill it.
In my case it looks like her walls are more important than I am. My gut told me that would happen long ago. I should have listened.

I can relate. It's been a year for me and I've pretty much given up trying because I'm tired of being turned down or hearing excuses. It sucks.

I should offer something more reflective than this, but @donttread, "touch my glass"? That is funny. I will have to file that one away.

First of all, we all know how you feel, but that is little solace. Your own personal hell is one place where there really is no strength in numbers. Don't ever beg for sex. It is quite unbecoming, generally a turn-off and it strips YOU of your last shred of self respect and hope. When you resort to begging, your tormentor wins - their victory is total and complete. On the positive side, you have no where else to go but up from here. Turning it into a contest of wills is unseemly, but you are not the one doing it. He is.

You have to start performing actions that will rebuild your self-esteem. You cannot rely on others for that. It is and always was up to you. You allowed your Sig Other that power over you and you need to take it back - starting right now. Do not ever allow anyone else to define you ever again. That is your job.

This is not just about sex; the absence of a sex life between you is just one casualty of many in a dysfunctional relationship. The degree may differ from couple to couple, but things are certainly amiss. The relationship is out of balance.

Starting today, go get yourself some help with your disorder, no matter what it is. Take care of yourself - not first - but take care of yourself as you go. Work on yourself. If you really are a shitty person, then stop that. Be the kind of person you want to be. You have heard it many times and it has become a cliche', but be the change. You do it. Be the person you truly want to be. If your SO does not feel attraction to that person, if they don't want to be a part of that life and help you grow, you have all the answers you need.

I am not in favor of divorce, but more often than not, it can be a lifesaver, literally. In your picture, you appear to be younger than some of us. Don't invest a lifetime in a relationship that will never flourish. We are not entitled to very much in this life, and there are no guarantees, but you and only you have the power to choose how you enrich your life. Take that power back and don't ever give it away again. My best to you and peace,