I would think now he doesn't have the right. I haven't in 5 years. he wont even try to get help.

I didn't realize there was a statue of limitations, but carrying resentment is more fatal to a marriage or relationship than lack of sex...

But that is the thing... I understand how Lacy feels... if my SO was calling me lover (yet never touching me) I do believe that resentment would be brewing... the thing is to tell them (I found that when I was finally able to say how it made me feel, some of my anger and resentment went away... some was at myself for never being able to stand up and be heard. Even though he may not have even heard... I was able to get back my voice.)

I would think even after a few months it will still hurt... and even more as time goes by. I wonder if you have tried to tell them how you feel? Do they listen or at least acknowledge your point of view? That is the worst thing to be ignored and overlooked.

Hugs, Kim

Thanks to all for your replies!

Yard_Eggs - you’re so right! Resentment can destroy a relationship. However, so can what has caused resentment to build. For me it was years of rejection and being treated like nothing more than a caregiver, servant, verbal punching bag, and companion (because she hates being alone), while intimacy was withheld along with being neglected emotionally and physically. And doing so with the knowledge of my pain, depression, and loneliness from our lack of intimacy.

Veggiequeen. - I still haven’t talked to her about how this makes me feel, which is on me. We’re in a.....calm place right now. I don’t want to start an argument, which is what happens whenever I attempt to discuss anything she doesn’t want to hear, deal with, or be accountable for.

Lacy... I was where you are ...trying to keep peace. That works well....for HER..
The thing is..
At what expense to you?
Hugs

Veggiequeen - once again you are my voice of reason! Thank you!!!!!

Several days ago I put on my big-girl pants and had “the talk”. Shockingly, it went better than I could have ever dreamed.. Guess we were both at a point where we were fed up with our marriage being so incredibly broken and she was ready to listen and work on it together. She took responsibility, acknowledged my feelings, and apologized repeatedly.. She now believes that some of her depression, etc. is from our lack of intimacy too. We are now working TOGETHER on rebuilding trust and our connection. I’m hopeful for a real chance for the better.

I am so glad to hear that. Good luck.

I’m in the same boat 20 plus years of on off dry spells has totally ruined my happiness
I’m ready to leave but have two children
We sacrifice so much for those we love. It sucks