Sexless Marriage Community Group
This group is for those people who find themselves married to a partner who has little or no interest in having a sexual relationship. This can be very painful for the other partner and leave them feeling rejected, unloved and unwanted. This is a group to provide support for this very painful and very private issue.
Just recently I was asked if I would now come across the "right person" at the "right time" would I actually consider having sex? I actually want to say yes.....
I have been married 15 years, the last 10 with no communication,help, or sex (not much of anything)
I did as my stbx did, trying to follow his lead and shutting down physically and emotionally, but that only made me want it all the more. I started to reach out to others and found out there are many of us whose spouses or SOs have lost their need or desire or simply want to punish the other by denying them sex. Like so many, mine had me convinced i was a perverted sex fiend just for being human and wanting to simply be loved and touched again.
I finally reached a point where I did file and start divorce procedings. In my mind, I think that may have given me a cautious ok to actually consider if I would come across another man who I was interested in. Like it was ok since i did give fair warning that i want to move on. he knows all to well that as long as we are still married I would not cheat on him. As I realize he is still hanging tight to still not wanting to simply part ways, but rather try counseling ... I am thinking he still believes I can live like this indefinitely with no affection or sex.
Maybe I am a perve, but i need to be touched and feel loved again (or even that I ever was in the first place) I have only been with 2 others before stbx... all 3 were 5 minute men. Sex was good but never anything really special or exciting. After taking with so many , I now want so badly to simply get a taste of all that I have missed all these years while i still have a chance.
I asked the same question of him. There are quite afew on here who have kids and are content with their spouse as a parent , friend, confidante.... but they suffer with not feeling whole since they deny them sex and the most basic need. Many wealthy people no longer want or need their spouses, yet they are content with all other aspects of their family and lives. It is an unwritten rule that they are free to do or see other people.. just as long as they do it safely and do come home to them. (This frees them from their responsibilities to actually provide this themselves) I HAVE TO WONDER... FOR ALL WHOSE SPOUSES WON'T TOUCH US, DO YOU THINK THERE MAY BE AN UNWRITTEN UNSTATED PASS ALLOWING US A HAIL MARY TO FIND SOMEONE JUST AS NEGLECTED AS WE ARE???
Maybe there ought to be???
I really did not know to what extent he had so many problems w/ "sex" in marriage / relationships until we were married and we dated for 3 years.
He also had an addiction for porn for YEARS. I think THAT's the real problem. He can't get aroused w/o porn.
So... here we are... ten years and we have not had sex in like 8 years.
Other than that, he is a wonderful man. WE have great communication. He is a wonderful provider. He isn't coming home drunk on weekends or sitting in his recliner getting drunk every night. He isn't abusive. He tells me every day how beautiful I am... and he means it. He is a good provider. He pays the bills. He is funny. We laugh and love our home. We love our dogs. He never complains about my cooking. He doesn't lie to me.
He's very good to his mother... I mean... Really? He just has this problem w/ this area of his life. And I stopped taking it personally.
Has it been hard? yes, at times. But other than that, we have an intimate relationship.
I have not thought about leaving him. I finally resolved about 7 years ago to just make peace with it. And now I feel at peace about it. He is a wonderful man. And it is what it is.
If he was a liar, a cheat, a louse, a horrible worker... I would have kicked him to the curb.
But I really don't feel deprived. I'm okay with it now.
Much love and luck to you.
If you don't have some of those kinds of things, it would make it difficult for me to stay, too. Intimacy is more than sex and it sounds like u might not have enough of that. U have to have a partner that is giving emotionally in some way or another ... thinking good thoughts for you.
@veggiequeen: you are not a bitch. He didn't deserve a kiss. Being cursed at hurts. I certainly hope he apologized for his anger filled words. If my wife ever cursed at me or said something hurtful, their certainly would be no kisses. But that hasn't mattered lately.
Thanks for reading!
I understand how you feel. He needs my paycheck to afford to stay here.... Plus I am the one stuck doing everything around here... I am nothing more than a roommate, cook, maid and nurse. It is a horrible way to exist. Hugs to you.