Sexless Marriage Community Group

This group is for those people who find themselves married to a partner who has little or no interest in having a sexual relationship. This can be very painful for the other partner and leave them feeling rejected, unloved and unwanted. This is a group to provide support for this very painful and very private issue.

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veggiequeen 04/04/2018

There are many times on here as I do hear of others who are staying strong... still loving who they did marry and realizing every lttle thing they do still have in their lives together. As I read these, I do feel guilty as i did not chose to stay and continue to give all (knowing that I have done that and gotten very , very little back) My marriage has been very one sided... and i am tired.

So, tonight after dinner.... he retreats into the bedroom. As i sit out here, hacking up my FOURTH lung, I hear him "talking to the dog" (His way of communicating with me) Amidst my 85th coughing fit he is telling me he is ready for HIS LOTION. It is so nice to hear such concern (or perhaps he is worried i may kick the bucket before I do get a chance to fix him up for the day ?)

A week from today, I take him for a minor surgery. it will be an oupatient thing, but after will require me to make sure he spends even less time and effort on his foot. So after work all day, I will be his beckon call girl (wait... I thought I already was?) It is awful, but at this moment I am not quite "feeling" the extended role of Nancy nurse. Perhaps i am that selfish bitch I was referred to in a fit of anger when informing him of the upcoming divorce just a week ago? More than that, I am so very tired (resentful and ashamed to admit that out loud)

I do wish I had a tiny secluded cabin (or bungalow on some lost island) where I could go all by myself. :(

finallyawakenow 04/04/2018

Oh queen. I’m so glad you did say that out loud! So we can share your pain and so you can vent the well understood frustration. I’m so glad that you are getting yourself out of that terrible situation! You are far from selfish. No one could have lasted as long as you have. Mother Theresa herself would have renounced her faith and told him where to go. No one can stand daily soul sucking. Him calling you selfish should be enough to prove all this to you! If I ever said that to LL I would hope she would leave me for her own sake. It takes both to practice some selfless acts to make any relationship balanced. And you have given enough of your share. Time to get some back and you know in your heart it’s not happening where you are. It’s time for him to start helping himself. Don’t say he can’t because we all have the survival instinct. Be kind to yourself, please.

finallyawakenow 04/04/2018

Ps that chest cold went through everyone I know too. Only got the cough part of it and took weeks to shake so don’t despair. Lots of soup and steamy showers helped.

finallyawakenow 04/04/2018

Pps. Sorry had to add; when was the last time he watched silence of the lambs? Because he should know how creepy the whole ‘lotion ‘ thing sounds! I understand the medical need but still.......

BayDweller 04/05/2018

I hope you feel better soon. It's bad enough being sick, but having to take care of someone else at the same time really stinks.

Regarding having to play Nancy Nurse, try thinking of it as practice for the next man in your life who will appreciate everything you do and will fulfill your needs.

veggiequeen 04/05/2018

Thanks you two. I had to resort to antibiotics and a temporary inhaler, but I do believe I will live . lol I am doing the soup, those long hot showers are a blessing (not only to breathe, but to escape)

As far as the "Nancy Nurse"..... I will always do for someone in need, but truthfully, this is not quite the version I hope for next time around.. (Sorry, my bad. I WILL TRY to behave.)

finallyawakenow 04/07/2018

You and I Are a lot alike. I have been the care giver for ever and it is wearing on me too. Think I’m ready for a change. Not that I’m looking for someone to take care of me for a change but to just share life with. Everything is so unbalanced here. Don’t know if I can even imagine a woman wanting to do something for me. Sigh. Maybe someday I’ll look back on this time and say, what was I thinking?

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