Old fashioned will power and nocturnals. Doesn’t work for anyone else I know, but Im facing the idea that M is like taking medicine that makes you more depressed. You take it to somehow feel better but it has side effects that are worse.

Psychiatrists and psychologists, other mental health workers, do not have a consensus on sex addiction. ( Be aware that there are respectable and well intentioned professionals who want to help and they are more expensive than those cam girls yall in this group keep talking about. )

Take the example of depression. It is now a medical condition because brain research revealed that it can be well defined. A person is free to talk to a counselor, therapist, whoever, but the REAL solution is at your regular general practice MD if depression is a problem. Things changed in how the issue could be treated. BUT sex addiction isn’t recognized. Everyone agrees something is a problem but we cant entirely fix it because no one can really explain what that something is.

I dont see how anyone can blame a guy in this situation. Its a real physical need and if people dont understand it then thats not something we can change. So M is no shame at all because what is a guy supposed to do when we're full all the time. For myself I stopped only because of loneliness but not shame.

So far the best I could say is stay active, exercise, eat healthy, remember that it's not your fault, but also take time to ask yourself if there is anything that is really bugging you. Find your goal and focus on it.

My ex wife helped me a few years ago and I stopped for about a year straight and I did see the world in a whole new way, my feelings for my wife improved dramatically, and our sex life was the best. Actually having intercourse for love rather than lust was the best, you think about them and what they want, last longer, and you don't even think about it the way you do with porn, with porn it's all about lust/looks that turns you on and gets you off. After ridding porn out of your head just being with them and just looking into their eyes is a better turn on than anything. Cause you're not having "sex" you're making love on a much deeper emotional level and you can't get that with porn.
Unfortunately I relapsed and we ended up getting a divorce over it and it lead to me going right back from where I started. I lost the girl of my dreams because of porn and now I have nothing all because of it. I can't take it all back but I still want to try and stop again.

I remember when try to be clean, it really really hard. I start to have weird dream, sweating and it smelt like garage can. I swear the mind release all the bad chemical and start to repair itself. I got so angry and iterated. I felt the devil was sucking my soul back to hell. The problem i have I love my wife but we have lack of sex. I deal with stress in a different way and watching porn in the evening help me relax. I hate it cause I work hard, provide for my family and i do not take drugs,

My husband is fast approaching his 5 years of sobriety with NO relapses. The first 90 days were the hardest (he attended inpatient rehab) therapy helps, attending 12 step meetings helped him even more. Having a sponsor or other members to reach out to is very important. Working the 12 step program. Exercise, eating healthy, avoid alcohol, reading, prayer and mediation, Playing music was his go to when he was struggling. The actual stuff that also is the most important is to get rid of internet access, he got rid of his phone for a while, and if he went on internet it was at home after i unlocked it, the internet is too damn tempting and easy to access. Even with access locked he installed a blocker and an accountability. 90 reboot helps re-wire your brain. The first year he was still angry, dealing with family of origin stuff, PTSD etc. Now he is the man he always showed everyone else except no more secrets. The biggest advice he gives to new guys at meetings are to stop making excuses, be honest and stop lying to your wife and most importantly yourself, and men dont NEED to masturbate, you will not die if you dont.

That's right , we will not die if we don't. But living to deal with the turmoil is worse. I've been making bad decisions and stupid choices. Tonight I've been trying to find a hook er online. I'm tempted everywhere I go. It's a constant distraction. I have to be careful about what pants I wear since people would be able to see . So my answer to the original question is to keep busy, distract yourself from the web, phone, try to meet people , get out of the house and get some exercise. But I don't get one thing - if a wife is saying her husband can't M then does she obligate herself to keep up with him?.

I think you misunderstood..I never once told my husband to stop masturbating that was his choice and part of re-wiring the part of his brain that porn, masturbating, acting out etc changed. I think if you stopped masturbating for a while all those inconviences you listed above would stop(or at least be less) Recovery has to be all or nothing, any attempt to do half assed will never work...It doesnt even mean that you can NEVER masturbate again...it just means until you get your brain "fixed" to stop obsessing and distracting your life masturbating should stop. ITs a 90 day re-boot that can change your life. See sex as something that is a connection not just an ejaculation.

Sorry,I didn't mean you individually,, not personally. It comes up often on the group here and I still wonder. For the record I don't have a partner and I haven't masturbated in more than a year. im not into porn either. I hang around this group bc I can't stop wanting sex . My other question is if I could be called a sex addict even if it's been 4 years since the last time. Not important. I understand your message and think the 90 days and 12 steps just might work for some guys. jiga!! Are you still among us???

Sorry,I didn't mean you individually,, not personally. It comes up often on the group here and I still wonder. For the record I don't have a partner and I haven't masturbated in more than a year. im not into porn either. I hang around this group bc I can't stop wanting sex . My other question is if I could be called a sex addict even if it's been 4 years since the last time. Not important. I understand your message and think the 90 days and 12 steps just might work for some guys.

jiga!! Are you still among us???

I have read that single people can masturbate in a healthy way. Without the aid of porn etc, People in recovery that are making sure that they arent using ejaculation as a way to reward,soothe guilt and shame, bored, etc.
Hmmm good question ...maybe still a sex addict because you obsess about sex all the time?

Thank you all. And yes, I'm still here...was very busy with finals. Please keep the suggestions coming.

Also I will gladly accept anybody who desires to be an accountability partner online. I really, really need this!!!

God bless you all!

I started writing a journal everyday, it's like talking to myself as if I were someone else in a way. If if all I write in it is that today I had no urges feeling good about it, and if I get a urge, before I grab my phone or talk myself in to saying screw it. I write about it. This might not work for everyone but I like to write stuff so it helps, and with how I feel proud with my progress, when get in that urge mood to watch that's the first thing I think of now is I'll have to throw my journal away and start from the beginning, and I really don't like starting from the beginning so it helps me push through, next Tuesday it will be a whole month since I started, don't seem like along time for me it seems like way longer..

And also I limited some of my normal stuff, rereading some of my journal helps me understand what might be causing the urges, it don't take much to trigger it, I play the video game grand theft auto and in the loading screen is a women in a bikini, I'll play the game for an hour or whatever then I find my self doing you know what, just that 30 second image even when I'm not paying attention is enough for your subconscious to trigger the urge, so now if I do play which is allot less now, when I load the game I'll click to load it and I'll go get me a snack or drink instead of waiting there so I don't see the image, and even Facebook. One little post even if you scroll past it is enough, so I cut way down on Facebook, the only time I go on Facebook now is like when I'm on break at work so I can go back to work and go write and give me time before I go home to get it out of my head

Hi, I am new to the site and joined as I have just relapsed after nearly 2yrs clean. I used journals, apps to block content (which my wife set the passwords for) and keeping busy (exercise, walking, bike rides etc.) I try to focus on how much I can lose for so little benefit but having had a decent run of being clean complacency became the problem. I thought I was in control and allowed myself to look at things that weren't 'real porn and didn't tell my wife. As the lying is our biggest issue it has ruined all the good work over the last 2yrs. I have now set things up to remind myself of my condition and what is truly important every single day! Good luck to everyone on the journey.