Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
I HAD stopped fapping for about nine months now, until about three weeks ago when I had a kind of binge of it, I did it no more than about ten times, I just stopped two days ago. I am supposed to be a recovering porn addict (this is why I said this might not be the right forum). I am very upset, angry and disapointed in myself for doing it, I woke up during the near climax of a wet dream which is something I have only started having recently, I was in bed alone and my partner was downstairs and I basically finished where my dream left off. I have been having the urge to do it again since then. By doing this I have also ruined my recovery up to this point as I also have ED, I have not been imagining any porn scenes while fapping either, and I am still 100% porn free.
My main question is the same as the one in the title; What to do to avoid fapping? If I am faced with another wet dream and wake up during which I always do, or just have the desire to do it again? Is there any methods any one can give me maybe from personal experience or otherwise? I have thought of going to the bathroom and splashing myself with cold water but I have yet to try this out as the need hasn't arisen yet.
My smaller question is this; I don't consider this a porn relapse but a fapping relapse, do you think this is a leap back to step one? Or maybe back two or three steps? Any thoughts and comments are appreciated, thanks
My main question is the same as the one in the title; What to do to avoid fapping? If I am faced with another wet dream and wake up during which I always do, or just have the desire to do it again? Is there any methods any one can give me maybe from personal experience or otherwise? I have thought of going to the bathroom and splashing myself with cold water but I have yet to try this out as the need hasn't arisen yet.
My smaller question is this; I don't consider this a porn relapse but a fapping relapse, do you think this is a leap back to step one? Or maybe back two or three steps? Any thoughts and comments are appreciated, thanks
In my humble opinion, it was a full on relapse, it did not involve porn but had the characteristics of unhealthy compulsory behavior. So it would behoove you to set the clock back.
Now, you may be porn free but the compulsion still exists which leads me to think that you may not have made air tight recovery plans but simply stopped watching porn and abstained for 9 months, and because of that you find yourself at this particular crossroads.
Wet dreams are the body's natural way to rid the testicles of semen build up,what I am not quite understanding is why after 9 months you would jeopardize your abstinence to finish the job which is another clue that tells not much was done in terms of brain rewiring and rebooting so that if that were to occur you would have chosen a healthier option
The way I dealt with that compulsory behavior since I used to do it before I fell asleep was to wear tight pajamas after taken a cold shower and put on cologne, smelling nice prevented me from wanting to ruin it by indulging.
It goes without saying that it would be useful to join a recovery program such as 12 step or Recovery Nation which is free and online so that you get the tools to overcome this addiction once and for all. As well as to formulate a plan of action where indulgence is not an option
Hope this helps,
Wolf
I am already using the Recovery Nation website and I hoped to find a sponsor through it but haven't as of yet. The plan of prevention of porn and fapping I had in place was working but I guess it wasn't water tight when it came to wet dreams. I feel that my biggest downfall was continuing acting out after my initial slip up which made everything snowball and get worse. This made it a total relapse instead of just a slip up but I do know now not to do that again. I am going to take the 90 reboot again and see where that takes me to, to be honest I will aim for longer than 90 days as I know I can comfortably do that.
Thanks for yout thoughts and advice, I do appreciate it. Back to the start again I guess!
If you can find an SAA group near you. The next best option would be to join Recovery Nation. The key here is to get better.
Wolf
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I had never had wet dreams in my life until I stopped masturbating. Now they happen every so often, usually if I'm stressed about something. I look at them as something that just happens -- I don't feel guilty about them because I don't do anything to cause them.
I don't "finish it off" by hand when I wake up during a dream, but I do let my body finish what it's doing on its own. If I just lay there and don't fight it, let various muscles contract and relax as they are inclined, my body will do what it needs to do, and then I clean up afterward.
As to how to fight the urge to masturbate, I would take Nancy Reagan's line -- "Just say no." Don't dialogue with yourself about it; just find something else to think about and move on. I have prayers that I can say over and over if a strong urge comes on and they do help, but now that it's been a long time the urge passes almost at once on the rare occasion that it surfaces. Where before I might have had to say the ""Hail Mary" prayer 10 times to shake a thought or an urge, once or twice is now usually enough. I know not everyone is comfortable with that particular prayer, but perhaps there are others you can say.