Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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/ Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

What should I do.

Ecarg
Ecarg

 



hi everyone! My name is Grace, I am 26 y/o. Just got married this July. My husband is addicted to porn. I knew about this back when we were dating. We both cried about it. We promise to make it work. Me and my husband was in a Long Distance Relationship before we get married. So we aren’t able to do anything. Now that we are married we still don’t do anything. I feel so depressed about it. He never did it with any girls. He is afraid that girls will laugh at him before. So he never had the confidence to do it with anybody and that’s the reason why he became so hook up with porn because no expectations and no rejections. But our marriage is suffering from it. I don’t know what do to. He stop watching porn, but I know that he still touch himself, because he admitted to me that he does and he is sorry about it.  We never even kiss passionately it’s just always smack. I am so sad and depressed about it. I feel like we are just roommates sleeping in the same bed. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose him. I love him. I want to help him, but I am new to this. I am bot aware about porn addiction before. I am not from here. I move here because of him. I don’t even have friends to share this problem and I don’t want to share it with my family because I don’t want them to judge him. I love him.


jjandy
jjandy
So sorry. I struggled when we were first married too...but it was more me than my hubby and it truly affected our relationship. I now have an entire different view of porn than I did back then...and it took some work Depending on how much a "hold" this has on him and whether HE himself wants help will determine so much. Is he even seeing that it is affecting your relationship? If he is choosing something over you- physically it is cheating you BOTH out of the intimacy. Why is he choosing that? Do you think he would maybe go to counseling with you? Being open about it is hard...but it really helps. So many people struggle with it...and because it is so secretive - and then sometimes people feel shame- it becomes a bad cycle. Then so many people think there is nothing wrong with it. But truly...if you are avoiding physical intimacy with a LIVE person in front of you...it creates a barrier. I educated myself on WHAT I was watching and that truly changed so much for me. Thinking about the people as "people" who were more than likley getting used (even if they are in the industry by choice) . The entire sex industry is based on the selfish pleasure of others. That changed my heart so much when I looked and heard some testimonials from people within the industry. I can't watch now...when I think about that! Anyways...I have a ton of resources if you are interested I can share. Let me know. PM me. Also...keep talking to him! Don't shame him. Let him know you want to understand the need behind it? How can you help? Share with him your desire for intimacy. Talk that out. You are so newly married. Married life is hard in the beginning anyways. But you can do this...and marriage counseling is such a great way to go for all the other help as well!!
Shalako
Shalako
Grace, I wanted to send a short message just to encourage you and all that you are doing. I have been in your husbands shoes and have 2 failed marriages. I can't lay the entire blame on porn and my compulsive behavior but it sure didn't help. My porn issues started to go out of control after my second divorce but my emotional state was similar to where your husband is now. I would look at porn and masturbate to get my own validation. I agree jjandy in all respects. Don't shame your husband but also find a way to get him into his own counseling and the two of you together in couples therapy. My guess he has anxiety, grief, and depression from something that keeps him going back to porn as his feel good. I wish you the best, hang in there.