I remember when I first stopped all my acting out behaviors. I was SO depressed for a couple months. I had just taken away the thing that got me through each day! It was sad honestly how much time I spent doing sexual things. The thing is to find new habits, hobbies.

You are trying to break the hardest habit out there... addiction. It's not easy. But you need a gameplan. Things you can go to.

Think about what you love in love. Your passions. Things that make you smile and warm you inside. Are they in your life on a daily/weekly basis? If so, why or why not? You have to basically find yourself again, aside from the porn and this addiction.

But yes, there is hope it can all change. :)

Gamer,

I think at this stage since you are injuring yourself, perhaps the help of a therapist may be in order. As you said, it's either indulging or injuring yourself, that's most definitely not much options for you.

As for depression, well, I only have mild depression. I sometimes have depressive thoughts and if I indulge them for too long, i will most definitely get depressed.

So my cure for loneliness was to get out there and help others: teach someone how to read, help someone get their GED, volunteer somewhere. You'll meet tons of folks and you'll feel better about yourself.

As for the inferiority complex, well you need to remember one simple fact, there is no other like you, you are the only one like you, exactly like you. You are like a snowflake, unique and unlike any other. So why are you comparing yourself to someone else? That would be like an orange comparing itself to another orange. They are not the same either, you know?

As for indulging, and self-pleasuring, you have done far more than porn if you ask me. You have also indulged your low self esteem and your inferiority complex long enough, don't you think? So I reckon, you could send them packing right about now. Unless, of course, you truly enjoy feeling bad about yourself, you can be honest about it, I was and if the answer is yes, then, you need to discuss that with your therapist and find a way to feel better about yourself.

When I was a kid, I used to hit my head against the wall, until it really really hurt. This happened after my mother died and I went to live with my father. I also would be careless and injure myself nilly willy.

I am alive by some miracle, but the reason why I did it it was out of a belief that I did not deserve to be alive, that I was expendable, that I was in the way, that I was, well a bother, too much trouble, I could go on but the gist of it is this, my step mom, my father's new wife came up and asked me why on Earth was I so bent on harming myself.

I told her what I just wrote to you and she was calm and collected and simply said, "I beg to differ. True, you scare me half to death when you act like that but I can tell you this much.Whoever told you that has never bothered to get to know you as I have. Least of all, looked directly into your eyes to see the keen critter that you are."

It took me a long long long time to stop, to be honest but after it was all said and done, I stopped hurting myself or letting others hurt me because I had finally realized what I just told you about being one of a kind, and all that.

Hope this helps,
Wolf

Thanks for all of the support and really great advice you guys.

True, I need to find new hobbies and habits to deal with my emotions. I wonder what I could do. I need to think more about it.

Thanks for sharing your story Wolf. I used to beat my head on the walls too as a child. My parents used to get very worried about me (with good reason). I am trying my best to like myself more these past few years and I can see it working little by little. I just hate when I look up and see that I still have a mountain to climb.

I think you guys are both right and I need to put the cart behind the horse. I need to start getting into good habits that make me feel good about myself and I need to try and cure my self hate first. Perhaps then it will be easier to stop my porn issues. I need help but I don't know how to get it without my parents finding out. I still live with them and they would be upset if they found out about my issues. I love them so much and its not like its their fault I'm like this. I need to find a way to do this so that they don't find out.

If it is a choice between cutting yourself and porn...do the porn.

bbb,

I do not think those are the only two choices he has. Cutting will hurt him physically and porn will send him deeper into the abyss.

What good are those choices? I ask you. After all, none are healthy.

Getting into a recovery program will be a better option, www.recoverynation.com can be a good one since it's online. Instead, of doing porn.

Wolf

I'm guessing you don't know the reasons behind the cutting wolf. No problem. But right now it is between those two choices. And u stand by my comment.

Gamer,

I would tell your parents. I know there are lots of issues between parents and teens, but I would do whatever I had to to help my children. Of course the fear of their situation would povoke some "upset" emotions, but I would use that energy to help them solve there problems.

All I know is that this addiciton, and the cutting for that matter thrives in isolation, so the more people you have in your life that truly know you and what you are going through the safer you are.

I would take the risk of trusting your parents with owning your addicition and telling them directly. This will turn out much better than them finding out and either getting upsset that you were not being honest with them, or pretending that it is not happening and avoiding the topic because they are scared. Sitting them down on the couch and coming clean will avoid both of these reactions, and though it may be tough, they will respect you for your honesty and bravery.

I know I resepct you for being brave enough to be here.

Just rememver, the addiction grows in the dark of the isolation. It does not work if it is out in the open with others.

Thanks again for everyone's advice. I'm going to keep trying to stay healthy and safe. I'm working on some new habits that should help me replace the old ones. I need to stop backing myself into a corner where I feel like porn is my only way out. I also need to find a way to control the burst of sexsual energy I get sometimes. If I let myself go its never any good.

I'm going to keep pluging away at this and trying to find a solution. Thanks again for all of your support.

keep chatting. keep being honest. keep being aware of your moods and your feelings. youre in the right place. just keep surrounding yourself with positive people and things.