I am fine...dealign with shit one day at a time! I agree melinda...this board has opened my eyes to more then I ever thought possible! I understand more now...I care more now!

Yes, like we talked about before...My mood swings can be rather...ummm...well...umm...HUGE, but for the most part I am doing good!

I love you girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also wanted to share this with all of you. Before I came to this site early last week, I think I was one of the meanest people. I thought everyone in the world was "bad" and rude. I thought that everyone was all about themselves. "Me, me, me! I have to be first! I have to be one car ahead of you in this traffic jam! I have to get to that register that just opened up with no waiting! I have to step on everyone and get my way!" Well, while there are people like that, everyone here has shown me that not EVERYONE is like this. There are good people out there, with problems like mine, and alot more with problems even bigger than anything I could imagine. The issues we talk about in this group may be a joke to anyone not dealing with them, but for us, they are very real. Whether you are like me, the spouse or family member of someone with this addiction, or you are addicted yourself, we are all dealing with the same monster. Because I came here and found all of you, I have looked at everyone I see differently. I no longer see my husband as some evil man who is out to hurt me. I see a man who loves his wife and son, but has some problems of his own. I see him as a person who has been through alot, and has never had a way to deal with those problems. I see people driving along, cutting people off, talking on cell phones while they drive (and not paying attention to what's around them), speeding, riding my tail. I even see them differently. Instead of cursing them and laying on the horn or brake-checking them, I think about how they must be in a big hurry. They might be late for a meeting. They might be late for work for the 2nd day in a row. They also must have something going on in their lives that makes them seem selfish and rude, but they really are not. They just don't realize how their actions are affecting others.
Thanks for everyone's support, and for openeing my eyes to be able to see that not everyone is bad. You have been so wonderful to me!
-Melinda

Hello! Good idea! It is hard keeping up with everyone! I'm alright I guess! My heart just breaks more and more everyday! I'm also glad I found this community and this site! I don't know what I would do without you guys and your support! You have been a real blessing yourself! Thanks for being my friend! Don't forget I'm here for you too! Just because my life is crazy doesn't mean I don't enjoy being able to be there for someone else when they need me! That goes for anyone! Well I'm going to go! Thanks again for everything!!! Love and Prayers!!

I whole-heartedly agree! This place has been a terrific thing for me. I explained it to my sweety the other night, and he was very interested. Not sure if he is signing up or not, but we agreed that if he did, we would keep our identities to ourselves (we both still need a bit of our own autonomy.) I figure that way, he (and I) will not feel inhibited in our search for help. But I have already noticed a huge difference in how much more secure I am coming to him with things I would like to talk about. I will leave all the details to my journal, but overall, THANK YOU ALL!!! This place really helps me not only put this monster in perspective, but also gives me the know how and will power to conquer :-)

XD I'm so happy I just need a little pixie dust to take off. I'm at 29 days clean, with only 4 left before I break my old record, which by the way I set over five years ago and haven't come close to since. I doubt I will ever completely defeat this, but I definitely have it on the run. It's insane the amount of confidence you build to resist it, seems to get exponentially easier the longer you go without it. Guys and gals I seriously feel like I could explode from pure jubilation, but I'm holding it back for Saturday morning :)

Kornbred