FarmMom,

From our perspective, porn use becomes a problem when it begins to interfere with your life in a significant, negative way. If you've been unable to stop despite trying and there being real negative consequences if you don't, then that may be a sign of a problem.

So, instead of focusing on "how much porn is too much," which might be different from person to person, the questions to ask might be: How many negative consequences is your porn use having? How difficult would it be for you to stop? Do you feel out of control? Do you feel like using porn and/or thoughts about using porn are interfering with your life? Do you feel like you have a choice whether or not to use porn, or does it feel like you have to even if you don't want to?

Other people here may have other views, particularly whether there are moral/religious reasons not to use porn. Not knowing your religious beliefs, we choose not to weigh in on that.

Hope this helps.

George @ PornHelp.org

I couldn’t agree more with the previous post. I too used to believe pornography and masterbation was a “healthy” way of life, but... as I look back on my relationships and life I started to see the negative impact it was having on my life. I began to feel shameful for my actions, it manifested my life into lies and infidelity. It destroyed and man do I mean destroyed my first marriage. I am now remarried and I’m watching this once thought healthy lifestyle filter in again. I am starting intensive therapy and attending SAA meetings as an outlet for my thoughts. I am here and on this forum to prove everyone wrong including my wife. This is a negative road I’ve been on for far to long. In conclusion it is different for everyone and everyone has their own reasons for quitting. The first step was a slap in the face from a therapist and my wife recognizing the negative impact because I thought it had none, and now I’m full steam ahead in resolving the problem. Best of luck in your journey through this.

We all must endure the race set before us.

Stay strong and hate the sin. I am here if you need to talk. Happy Thanksgiving. :)

Is it sin?

Is it sin? Hmmm... I suppose that’s different to everyone. Touching eh... I don’t know as much, but viewing things such as pornography that are fantasies and creates lust and impure desires then I would say yes, but again that’s all up to the individual and the beliefs they have.

I hold down a full time plus job. I keep the house clean and my daughters fed. I am there when they need me, but as they get older they need me less. So in my spare time, which I seem to have more of, I explore erotica and self satisfy.

I would recommend instead of watching porn is actually reading it as in a story. This is much more stimulating to the mind vs. visual. Only use your mind for masturbating. It's healthy and a great stress relief.

Hopefully the right man will come along and make your dreams and desires come true.

I do use stories frequently

Yes, I agree also, if you find yourself indulging is that I would also say resort to the literature instead of the pornography. And I guess I’m a little confused, are you self satisfying to the erotica or pornography???

What is the difference, Struggling?

I guess there really isn’t a difference, it’s still a life of fantasy and visualizions so thinking about it, I guess it doesn’t really. I guess for me my trigger is pornography so if I were gonna self satisfy I’d stay away from that while erotica probably isn’t a trigger for me

If you are a sex addict that is trying to maintain sobriety any self satisfying is not a good idea ..90cday reboot..yourbrainonporn.com explains it and what porn use does to your brain.
FarmMom if you are worried that it is a problem then try stopping..for say 30 days and see if.you are constantly thinking about it

Farm Mom why are you so much concern about if porn is or isn’t to much ? What make you feel that porn is or isn’t good?
I read the previous answer and I desegree with some of them.
How can someone decide the amount of porn someone can take or no?
This is completely personal issue. For some people like you and me might be completely ok when for others maybe not.
You are alone and just want to fulfill your sexual desire.
That’s fine with me. You are not hurting someone or offend someone. You are just pleasuring your self and I found this completely normal.
I am doing the same.
Masturbating watching porn or reading sex stories is completely fine for me. Is nothing wrong there.
The only case I might find wrong the porn is when your partner wants you to have sex and you choose porn to masturbate . That’s not normal ok . When you have someone to please you why you choose porn?
Again I find porn beautiful and helpful in normal doses.
Masturbation again IS NOT SIN . Who has a different opinion let prove it cause nowhere in Bible said something about masturbation.

Masterbation is of course a natural normal thing yes, I couldn’t agree more. The issue I have with it is that sometimes can be for the wrong reason. My issue has been with it that it can be used in excess. And unfortunately can create a whole mess of issues. My wife used to ok with pornography, it then began to have a negative influence in my life. I began to loose a connection with her emotionally, when that started to happen the guilt and the shame kicked in due due to the fact that pornography was being used to much when I should have been coming to her. As of late, pornography has created a whole mess of lies and deceit. I think when it comes to pornography especially as a couple it needs to be discussed and see if there are boundaries that may or may not be crossed at some point. But in regards to the post above me, if it’s just you... yes self satisfy to whatever you choose, that is based off ones own personal morals at that point. Great insight though OIP78

I read somewhere that in a healthy relationship you think about sex less than 15% of the time. In an unhealthy relationship, it is more like 85%. I have been married 16 years the last 11 with no communication, affection, help of any kind or sex. I tried just shutting down like my stbx, but it was no way to live.

for me, coming to realize I want, need and deserve more (we ALL do) I sometimes have days where I have sex on the brain (more like 110% lol) I am still officially married, not cheating or in another relationship (not that i would not prefer to be.) So. like you....I am left with limited options. I was raised to be ashamed of my body and feel guilty for even thinking about any physical touch. Took me a long time to overcome that.

Please don't feel guilty or like it is a cardinal sin just because you watch a bit of porn or turn to erotic stories to help fuel your imagination . I don't really turn to porn, but I love to write , have spoken with and shared with alot of others who are also missing and thinking about sex. To me , it is a release that does help me and has helped others in sexless marriages (simply a fantasy)

I was recently ripped apart from another on here for my writing. I would say, I am sorry for his struggles, but this is how I do cope and find some release. All I do is work, come home and do all for stbx. he used to make me feel like a perve for simply wanting some sign of affection, I realize I am simply human, limited to just me and my toys... my imagination and my stories.

As the others have said... unless it interferes with your daily life, I doubt it is a problem.... simply a form of relief and a way to cope. You are human.
Hugs,