Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
i am new to this online forum, and have been visiting this sight for a number of days. I have to say I am a little disappointed in the amount of dialogue on this site. Perhaps I can get something going.
‘I have dealt with porn compulsion/addiction for most of my life. I was exposed to it at an early age by an older cousin of mine. Unfortunately, due to a number of circumstances that took place in my life, I used porn as an escape and self soothing/loving defense/protection activity. After all these years (46) it still rears it’s ugly head and causes interference with living a healthy lifestyle. I know for a lot of people, porn is not a problem. They can choose to watch it occasionally or not. Doesn’t interfere with their life. I on the other hand am not able to do that. I have and continue to see a therapist to work on a number of things. For instance, triggers that send me into a negative place which often results in me watching porn. I have done many other things in my past that I am not proud of, and have had to deal with the repercussions as a result. Luckily, I have a very understanding wife, who is still willing to put up with my addiction/compulsion, at least for now. Does anyone else have triggers? Does anyone else have tools to get you through your compulsions/addictions? Always looking for ideas and suggestions.
Thank you for sharing. I'm new to the site myself. I just joined about 5 minutes ago. I can relate to your story and a lot of your current your situation. When I came to the Lord as an older teenager I was able to talk about my drug and alcohol additions much easier than my struggle with lust. With nobody open to talk with me about it, I felt shame and kept to myself. It grew larger when there was no light. That went on for until my mid 30s. I started working recovery 8-10 years ago. I've read maybe a hundred books on the subject, including academic research. Before recovery I couldn't go more than a few days without acting out. With God's help I was able to make it almost 5 years clean and sober - no porn no masturbation. I found there are different tools that worked well at different times in my journey. How long has it been since you acted out? That might help me think of some ideas to offer. For some men, pressure from the wife is a big motivator for them. It was for me, for a while (2-3 years) but that eventually went away and I greatly struggled because I didn't have a motivator (similar to how when I was in school I did homework because somebody was driving it, but after school was out I wasn't doing any homework). Likewise, I had to decide I was going to do it for me and my relationship with God. I kept going to recovery meetings but they stopped working and I eventually stopped going after a couple years of showing up every week to say I've acted out again. I use to get help from therapists but that didn't help me either. They would go through worldly wisdom books like Recovery Zone and Out of the Shadows but that approach is all so clinical and void of God's power in my experience. I gave up on the them. My current approach is less legalistic (careful for this trigger and careful for that trigger) to the point they are wearing a blindfold to walk around. There are some people I know who do well with this approach but I don't think that approach is the answer although having some level of avoiding input is obvious (movies with provocative scenes, etc.). What is currently working for me fasting and praying. It sounds strange but think of it this way... would you think about acting out if you suddenly couldn't breath? How about if you were in a desert and had no water... would you even care if a trigger was there and you had nothing to drink for a couple days? I'm assuming you would have to answer no to these questions. Likewise, if you stop eating food... remarkable the sexual desire is completely gone. Then if you add in prayer, praise and worship, bible reading, church services, suddenly your whole mindset on life starts to shift dramatically and you could care less about a trigger. The hardest part about stopping acting out is the first 30-40 days... after that is downhill if you're putting in 30-60 minutes a day recovery type reading/writing and calling a mentor daily or doing some kind of daily check in with another brother to keep current... talk about any second looks, resentments, etc. I feel like this might be more than what you're asking for but I hope you can find something in my response that will be encouraging to you. I can share more about fasting if you'd like. I have come to believe that a huge part of this fight is a spiritual fight (more than clinical) where the enemy has a stronghold just like you find in Matt. 17 where Jesus casted out a demon and the disciples asked why they could not cast it out, Jesus responded, "But this kind does not go out but by prayer and fasting."
I just started a Fasting support group on this site if you'd like to join it. It would a way to buddy up with myself or somebody else if you'd like to go on the journey together.
I know are a Christian and all. I am agnostic .Is it possible that we can buddy up?
I know you are a Christian and all. I am agnostic .Is it possible that we can buddy up?
Anyhow all that to say it's a journey and it matters not to me where you're on it but I'm grateful to be a part of it no matter what you end up deciding.
When would you like to start? You may want to consider easing into if it's your first time. The couple days would be best to start a Daniel's fast to avoid body pains. Daniel's is only fruits and vegetables and lots of water of course. If you're doing good after that then you're ready for a gallon of water + a day. I'd love to hear how much temptation you face as you get into it. Other people that I know who fast describe the same effect. It's completely gone. I drove by a strip club the other day that has a massive digital screen advertising it... I had no desire to look at it... almost like it was a garlic and onion juicing center. I could care less I had more important things to do.
I look forward to hearing from you:)
Sorry if I didn't make myself clear earlier. When I said buddying up I was talking about you downloading an app called victory app so that I can have you as my accountability partner .I am not big on fasting, sorry.
No worries about fasting bro. Most people are not into it. Looking forward to connecting on the victory app.
I didn't see your posting but I can relate to being sexual abused. For me it was helpful to do some deep trauma processing about it with someone trained and skilled in that area. I'm not sure this would be place I would feel very safe and open to talk and share about abuse. Also, I wouldn't want to share much also to avoid harming others... some people could be triggered or get mental images in their mind that shouldn't be there. I don't want to be stumbling block others.
I have no doubts that you can help people however. I do use the email portion of this site to share directly with one other person if it's a more personal matter. That might create that extra sense of security so people would open up with you. Lastly, you might want to add a call to action for other ladies to connect with you via email on this site so you can keep it focused on those you could be most helpful in a safe way too. Best of luck as you help others.
Did you get the books? Ready to get started?