Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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2earlyriser 04/11/2014

A couple of weeks ago I helped a church member move. During the move I found a dvd of gay porn.I knew he was gay. I was horrified and felt dizzy and sick to my stomach. I felt saddened to know that this man was addicted to porn and I was very much concerned about him. As I ruminated in my mind as to what to do I realized that this random act of exposure had left me shaken. When I went to bed the night of the move, I could see the images in my mind. This greatly troubled me because I had purged all images out of subconscious. I prayed intensely and after a few excruciating hours I lapsed into a fitful sleep. Still visibly shaken the next day I reached out to people I knew who would help. I was comforted and given good counsel. One thing I have learned from this is that one exposure can have detrimental effects. I also learned that at any time I can be exposed to porn. I have thankful for the foundation my recovery efforts are built upon. It is through the grace of God (and His trusted servants) that I did not act out sexually and relapse during this most difficult time. I have been sober from porn for 559 days today. I am thankful for God today that I have not had to give into an addictive substance to calm nerves or escape reality. I am stronger today than I was 560 days ago. That is my hope for all that suffer from addiction. It is a good day when I can stand strong in the face of a storm. I am a happy at peace man today.

2earlyriser 04/11/2014

I should of titled this "The power of God".

candycin 04/11/2014

In rehab my husband told me that they discussed things like this, as people, without knowing, may expose an addict to addictive material. They call them fire drills. Its basically planning on things like this happening and having a plan in the back of your mind in how to deal with it. So my husband made a list of all the things that could pop up, from finding porn, to getting emails with sexually stimulating pictures, to being at work and going our for lunch with a crew and the crew picking a restaurant where women on dressed objectively, or men at work (he works with mostly men) talking sexually about a co-worker.
He has a plan in place if these things happen so they don't derail him as he too has said that an email from a friend with a picture of a naked women once sent him into looking at porn very quickly.
It sounds like you did all the right things, from reaching out, and praying to GOD...amazing how strong you really are when faced with an issue.

wolfiepa 04/11/2014

2early,

First I would like to commend you on your 559 days away from your addiction. Everyday that you are away from porn is stronger day for you. It is not easy, Lord knows I know, but it is possible and sadly gay men are the most affected by porn.

I do not know if you read it from me, but I had made a deal with God in the very beginning, that if God healed me from it, I would be very grateful and I would help others which I have and God healed me.

I had to do my part but you are absolutely right, your experience reminds me of my first months away from porn. The day will come when even seeing porn will literally leave you ill and you'll push it off like something that is poisonous.

I have had instances where I've gone to babysit pets belonging to male friends of mine and while looking for DVDs I come across a porn video, I simply wave it off these days, I do not pause I simply keep going, like I never saw it because I remember all too well what it did to me so I skip it, like I'd skip a cigarette if offered one.

Eventually, you'll get to that state, because you'll finally realize that peace of mind and happiness are more important to you than a few seconds of visual trash.

Hugs,
Wolf

2earlyriser 04/11/2014

Thanks wolf! I. too have a strong desire to help others. I look forward to the day when I can cast aside porn when confronted with it and give it no more thought. I know that day will come. I used to smoke and drink and its easy for me to say no when offered. I will be patient with the process.

deleted_user 04/12/2014

early, I'm so proud of you! and I'll pray for that friend. In recovery material I've seen, and in my experience, we never come to a point where we are never tempted, and there are struggles with temptations of all kinds until we finally die. Maybe not as often, and maybe not as strongly, but, like you... I can be caught off guard and there it is.. some kind of trigger. I have had more than one addiction, and so the temptations can come from one side or another or blindsded.

Again, I'm proud of the way you handled it. Keep on keepin' on. One moment at a time.

Learningskills 04/15/2014

Congrats on your progress! I am traumatized by that stuff, but in a different way. I can understand the emotional and physical trauma, not fun!

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