I've battled anxiety, depression, and fatigue for 15 years.

Pretty sure I have Asperger's too. 

Due to all my problems I'm also unemployed. 

I got bullied at school, neer fitted in, never had many friends, pretty much a loner. 

Due to my health problems I've been on the smaller side and can't do much exercise 

(I also have exercise-induced asthma)

I'm more creative and sensitive. 

I was raised by my mum & still live with her. 

I have a dysfunctional relationship with my dad, we get along, but he's very controlling & lacks what I actually needed in a father growing up etc... 

I've always felt inadequate in many ways. 

I think all these factors played a role in developing SSA. 

I think the boys / men I wished I was like & wished my father was like turned into SSA as I got older. 

I've been trying to get out of the shit for the past few months but have failed many times. 

I finally got around to putting a porn blocker on my phone, need a better one since it blocks the dumbest things - self-help articles, forums, comments etc... containing certain words. 

My Christian faith is the most important part of my life & I've finally got around to reading my Bible and know for sure that one has to accept Jesus & live a pure and holy life to go to Heaven, you can't continue in your sins. 

Obviously there are different categories of sin & sexual immorality in any form leads to death and Hell if you don't repent. 

I've repented in my spirit but keep failing in my flesh. 

At least I'm not watching explicit stuff now but I still have no self control & end up jerking off to either fantasies, memories of watching gay porn, or non explicit videos. 

My inner man absolutely hates it. 

I want to be celibate until marriage. 

I do want a wife and kids someday & definitely don't think I'd be able to go my entire life without sex in some form - and Holy Matrimony is the only approved form by God so I need to discipline myself and get my body to accept that. 

Even though I'm mainly SSA, if I met a very pretty girl & we shared our faith, values and interests - it could work out. 

I've just got to put my SSA and lust in any form to bed. 

I want to be able to appreciate the beauty of men and women without seeing them as sexual objects for my own personal pleasure. 

 

I'm hoping to find friends that can check in with me daily & help me get out of this mess. 

I'll help encourage & support anyone who is battling with porn, masturbation, & lust too. 

Only through God's help and the help of others going through the same mess / have overcome it, can we overcome it too. 

 

Looking forward to chatting & hope we can help each other through this mess.