He has no business looking at child porn. That needs addressing.
As for the rest my question is can he get dates? Is he disabled?

I am a lesbian and disabled mentally and can't get a date nor a lesbian-bi friend. I look at porn but soft core type. I look at adult women only. I prefer older women.

If he can get dates then porn isn't good for him as will teach him to want only the really pretty women. If he can't get dates and is very lonely then it is good for him.

It has been good for me at times, but my situation may be different than his.

I believe porn can be good or can be really bad. It is like the pain reliever morphine. It has its place. It can really help one who is in terrible pain but isn't for a minor headache.

My sense is he shouldn't be looking at porn. It is normal for young men to look at porn, but it could become an addiction. Again, child porn absoutly not okay.

Hope this is of help for you.

He is not disabled, in fact, he is a real looker so I'm told. He doesn't seem to be able to attract any nice girls though. This girl he is seeing is 24 now, quite pretty, but she has troubles. He met her in drug rehab. I don't think 2 people with drug issues need to get togther. The porn on children I caught him looking a was not nude, but very provacative. I don't think it is appropriate either, and worry someting is wrong if he is looking at young girls like that. He doesn't seem to have any respect for women, and in fact, he doesn't act like he has any respect for himself. He is a very lost kid right now. He got caught smoking pot in college, and we had to withdrawal him. He also got communit service, drug rehab counseling and goes to 2 AA meetings a week as part of his penalty by the courts. Monday we go back to the courts to see what they will do with him as he has complied with all the requirements of the court.

These pictures my husband and I saw were of young girls, like 7=14 years old (looking) posing in bathing suits or sexy clothes. He looks at other porn too, and told me that he isn't attracted to the much older women of porn, wants some young looking girls his own age to look at. It really worries me that he is ignoring a problem that he may have by his defensive attitude he had when I confronted him about the young girl pics. I want to let him know that it is okay to admit it if he is attracted to children like that, and that I would get him the help he needs, but he denies it. I think there is a problem.

I think he settles for anything he can get as far as women goes, because he latches on to the first thing that comes along. He desperately wants a women in his life and I think he takes whatever he can get. He wants to be loved by someone other than his parents and sister. I just don't understand him and am really worried something serious may be mentally wrong with him.

Hi Ichoppel,

This sounds very alarming to me. I too have a 10 year old and 2 year old. Both boys. We have Safe eyes on all of our computers and our son is not allowed to have a computer or cable in his room and will not be any time in the future. My H (Soberon) and I have been members here almost 2 years. I am the wife of a successfully recovering sex addict. I can assure you the response you got from your son is normal. He will continue to deny this until he reaches rock bottom, whatever that is for him. I know you can help raise his rock bottom by putting very stick boundaries within your house. For example if you are supporting him put a safe guard on all computers and block all channels with inappropriate shows. As long as anyone lives in your house they should have a curfew even if that curfew is 2:00. As he gets further into trouble as he has already done that curfew tightens or he is locked out. If he is out of school and not going to college he should pay rent. By making life easy on him you are actually making his addictions easie and I know as a mother putting limits on your child is the hardest thing to do when you are not used to it. Additionally we have a spouses of addicts board but actually I think you would find this group very useful since we all have to learn new habits of dealing with our addict.

let me know if you are interested.

Lorilou

He seems like a very intelligent young man. I agree with you, I think he needs treatment. I don't think he should be looking at any kind of porn, sexy pictures, etc.

He needs to learn how to be a friend first to women before he can have a relationship.

I hope he will get better. I think he has a lot of potential.

Take care

Tava and Lorilou,
Thank you very much for the time it took you to respond to my post. I appreciate your advice.

As a recovering SA (not child porn) I concur with Lorilou, if your son is an addict he will not only lie to you and your husband he would lie to God if he thought he could get away with the lie.

Furthermore and perhaps of greater significance is the type of porn he is choosing to view. Child pornography is no laughing matter and has serious consequences with perhaps collateral damage to you and your husband. Imagine if someone else found those pics on your computer? Child pornography is exploitation at its worse and suggests a significant problem for your son. I strongly recommend therapy with a counselor trained in this area before the addiction takes your son to the next level - like acting out with children?

I wish your family and your son the best.

I agree he is looking at it, and does need help. Child porn just doesn't pop up on the computer by itself continuously. And he will deny it as long as he can. With him being 19 though, I'm not sure how much help you can "force" on him. If he is living in your house, you certainly can enforce things. It's not an easy thing to do.

I have a son that's almost 15. He is addicted to porn. And I don't say that lightly. I know kids are curious. I won't go into all the detail. But he has gone to great lengths many a times and cost me over $1000 in porn. He cannot be left alone with a computer period. Even to "check facebook". It's too tempting for him. He's finally admitted powerlessness over it. He's finally gotten honest with himself. But it has taken a very long time and a year of hospitalization.

We're here if you need support. And message me anytime if you need to vent or talk!

I concur with lorilou at every point. You will find boundaries a useful tool in combating this.

And big {{{hugs}}} Flutter, i didn't know you were combating this extra stress. I hope you got through Thanksgiving okay :)

being a sex addict who looked at child porn i can say for myself that my attraction to children started from being molested. i am not saying all people who look at child porn have been hurt physically or emotionally. There are some filtering sites online one called K9 which is free that i have set up for some people in my group. Parents are the last people kids want to talk to about girls and sex sometimes having a person they can talk this issue with someone other than the parent may help him talk about his desire to look at porn and the possibility of attraction to children.