Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
I am new to this group but I am a long time sex addict. As a child I was sexaully abused by my teenage neighbor, that continued for two years until we moved away. I still acted out with girls and boys that I knew because I was told that is how you get someone to care about and love you. Fast forward to today, I have been married for 20 years to my high school sweetheart and have three wonderful childern. But for the last 4 years I have lead a secret life of sex with prostitutes, corworkers, and friends. I have spent a large sum of money yo feed my habit and have had to hide it from my wife. Last month I met a girl online, she claimed to be over 18 but it turns out she wasn't. I was alos pulled into an underage sting operation and arrested on the spot. Now I am having to deal with severe criminal charges, My wife wants a divorce, my friends have left me, my job is gone, and I am living with my parents on house arrest. I am trying to change my life, setting goals, going to therapy, attending SA meetings, and trying not to see women. It is so hard though, I find my self looking or reaching out to past hooks up, only to feel guily afterwards. I have not slept with anyone since I got busted...but the urge never leaves me. Any help?
I am so sorry for everything that happened to you, right from the beginning up until now. I would like to state that every bad action has a deep-rooted intention behind it. People doing bad stuff have their own reason to justify the same. Nobody wakes up in the morning thinking that today I will hurt 5 people emotionally and 2 people physically, no one.!! It just happens that we react the way we do because of past experiences. We tend to fall into this same behavioral pattern over and over again and with you its Sex. I myself am dealing with this pattern and have finally decided to quit it.
Trust me when you say that you cant get rid of the urges, I understand that! For something that has stayed with you for so many years won't leave in just a couple of days or months. It will stay there for a long time. It's up to you how to fight it. I would suggest you take one step at a time and that's what exactly I am doing right now.
My first step is to not watch porn. Yes, the urge is still there and yes I still masturbate thinking about old flings and or fantasizing sexual scenarios. But I am letting them be for now. I will deal with them later. Once I deal with my fight against porn addiction and win over that, I will get more motivation to control my urges and my habit of masturbation as well.
Although you might be different, your first step to control the addiction can be different. but as I said, start small and try to win in them. And once you do that then look for bigger ones (controlling your urges etc.).
Once you did all these, your energy will automatically change and you will attract people who are hating you and trying to get away from you right now, including your wife. This is the time where you have to put all your attention and focus on yourself and no one else. Because trust me you are the sole warrior of this battle and no one is going to be able to help you out in this addiction of yours. Even if they want to, they can't.!
And as it is said, whatever goes around comes around. What you did is going to come back to you unless you start working on this addiction and the results will come back to in multiple times.!!
BEST OF LUCK!!
Also, I would like to add something very important that, it's called porn if you are seeing kissing videos or twerking videos on youtube, Its called porn if you are browsing on Facebook or any other social media and you see someone posted a new pic which is sexy and turns you on.!! stop watching it immediately!! So basically right now everything that turns you on by seeing something is porn and when you will treat this addiction like that is when you will start feeling unenthusiastic, Lack of zeal, Sadness, and feeling of being lost. That means that its working,
Good luck!!