Congratulations on the three weeks and on your resolve to keep going. I know a lot of people feel they have to reset the clock every time they fail. I don't feel that messing up during the recovery process invalidates the three weeks of success.

I think that, when you cave to temptation, the best thing to do is look at the circumstances under which you caved and compare that to what you've been doing that was working. For example, were you getting a bit more confident and allowing yourself to go to websites that might tempt you toward other things? Were you stressed, and if so, is there something that you usually do to deal with stress that you neglected this time? Use your fall as a learning opportunity.

Good luck.

It is kinda interesting nobody has any other suggestion for kicking the addiction than counseling and groups??? Hmmm.. I mean it would stand to reason that if other methods worked you'd see threads here right??? Breaking free of denial is step one keep working on it!!!

I think you are minimizing the impact of this on you by calling it a "bad habit". You are definitely addicted and getting help is something you need to accept because doing this alone isn't going to work for you.
Please at least get help online although this isn't ideal, it is a step in the right direction.
www.recoverynation.com
http://candeobehaviorchange.com/healthy-sexuality/
Also, please look at this website to understand the addiction
www.yourbrainonporn.com

dlansky,
Thanks for the encouragement. Posting my relapse and resetting my clock is my way of stepping up my game. I was taking it easy before, but that obviously wasn't cutting it. I can say, though, that since I've joined the site, I've been making steady progress. By being more active on this site, I hope to promote even more rapid progress.

hearts,
From what I gather, a lot members here have an addiction that stem from very complicated issues that are best addressed by counseling. I imagine that's why it's such popular advice. It also seems to be the best long term solution. Plenty of people will mention good short term band-aids, but in the long term it is important to confront the root of the cause.

shanas,
I've debated whether porn is an "addiction" or a "bad habit" for a week in the summer while I was originally lurking these forums. Let me be clear, porn is something that I would like to give up, so I'm not trying to avoid that issue. Why I chose to define my relationship with porn as "bad habit" is because my experiences are very different from many of the other posters on this website. It just didn't feel right trying to claim my dependency on porn as an "addiction" compared to the other stories I've read.

That said, I'm not dismissing your advice. It's definitely time I take my porn usage more seriously. Although I don't think I'm ready for counseling yet, I'll be sure to look at the online resources you gave.

Here's to day 2.

Once more into the fray.
Into the last good fight I'll ever know.
Live and die on this day.
Live and die on this day.

I lived with an addict for years. Believe me, you are talking the talk. If you didn't believe you were hooked you wouldn't even be here.

Get some real help buddy. Let a professional guide you.

With all respect to you, you have done well to break away for as long as you can.
If you can reduce the number of flash floods of Dopamine you give your neuro transmitters then gradually you will get better.
Not that I'm encouraging you to relapse BUT if you do relapse for 1 day then try and keep a break of 2 -3 weeks or longer if you can.
It's during these periods of abstinence that you will comeback to Earth.
You must remember, the brains neuro transmitters are NOT meant to be abused by huge amounts of chemicals. The receptors are delicate things and can be distorted very easily BUT they recover if given time.
EVERY thing we do in life is meant to be in moderation but we have formed , as you might say, a bad habit.
Now, the thing is, a bad habit is a fine line towards an addiction.

A Heroin "'habit"' is actually a full blown addiction but euphemistically termed
.
The Limbic System , that drives our addiction , likes to downgrade our COMPULSION for ex as a mere "'habit"".
But don't give up.
When we learnt to walk as babies we fell many times...it hurt and we cried but we got up & started from scratch, but each time it became easier from the place we left off. . If we'd given up or thought "'I've gotta learn from zero"" we'd never learnt to walk. LOL
Relapse means we are practicing/learning and eventually it will stick.
Keep those breaks between relapses as long as you can..eventually you'll be hitting the 3---6 month mark.

..also, what constitutes an addiction?
I asked myself this and was surprised to glean the results from the various websites that shanas and others have wonderfully shown.
It's the CYCLE that constitutes the addiction..
Even a person who claims to be a "'recreational drug user"', maybe only once a month during a binge is still an addict because the habit has formed a cycle of activity.
A person who uses escorts only once every 3 months may claim to be non habitual but he's still an addict because he's developed a cycle of usage.
Oh yes, I too made excuses for my habit for 40 yrs. LOL.
Thanks to you though for your message and all the best to you.

When I quit smoking 20-ish years ago, there was still a fair amount of debate over whether nicotine was truly an addictive, since it didn't cause the same kinds of physical withdrawal symptoms as say, heroin, such as aches and pains in the bones, diarrhea and vomiting. Now the National Institute on Drug Abuse says that it is addictive based on the fact that people continue to use it despite negative consequences.

At the time, I decided that whether or not it was technically addictive was beside the point; it was a bad habit that I wanted to break, and breaking it was going to involve some temporary discomfort.

I actually didn't rely on a 12-step group or counseling in my recovery. Not that I didn't consider those options, but I had some philosophical issues with the 12-step model, and the counselors I'd spoken with generally didn't see pornography as addictive or harmful. What helped me most was the book "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, which was an imperfect book but nevertheless made me realize that I have more POWER (by the grace of God) to say no to my urges than I knew. (So much for admitting my powerlessness, Step One!) The book helped me understand how to harness that power. Also helpful for me was journaling on the website yourbrainrebalanced.com.

So, there is more than one road to recovery.

Well delansky you are the exception lol!! Sounds like a good read maybe I will check it out. With God all things are possible...I have not encountered any recovering addicts with as much determination or resolve as comes through in your posts. I really think for the majority the normal counseling and groups is a good first step. But I suppose I would say also and if I hear you correctly it is God empowered not self empowered. I find that in myself I am powerless yet endless power is there through in God. Which I believe is the idea behind step one :)

My husband finds meetings more helpful then therapy, although he gets more out of our marriage therapy sessions then individual therapy. Maybe not the actual 12 step meeting but the connections he has with a few of the guys that attend. Being able to reach out, vent, pray together, etc. Knowing that he isnt alone in this battle. He learned the most though in intensive rehab...I agree that everyone has to find their own recovery path....and GenericName relapsing tells you that you need to do more then you were doing....dont give up you are worth it!!!!