i would say after a 10 day break his action is no longer a slip but a relapse....that being said because he is only going 10 days in between it would suggest that he is just taking a short break and is still a full time addict...

Thank you, yes, that's my take on it. He has, in fairness, cut down massively on previous use, which was daily for hours at a time (I thought he was 'working' in his office in the garden). But I think he's kidding himself at the moment. It's how to get him to see...

In the early stages when therapist first started to see that porn/sex was an addiction some therapist would suggest the risk reduction method, cutting down as a way to stop the behavior. Now this is found to have no success at all. The only way to stop the behavior is to ..well...stop the behavior. I get it easier said then done. The 90 day reboot has been found very effective, no sex, masturbation, porn , nothing for 90 days to help rewire the brain. Therapy may be helpful, or attend a 12 step. Getting rid of any access in the early stages would be helpful since he seems to not be able to step away from it on his own. This is a drug and if he was trying to work a drug program there wouldnt be drugs easily accessible because the addiction will always win. Heck i know a sex addict that threw his computer in the lake ...there are ways and lots of success but sadly, your husband has to want to stop...really want to or it will never stop. In the meantime you can set firm boundaries, and consequences to keep you safe from the harm and trauma he is causing you.

I don't know if you've seen this: http://yourbrainonporn.com/reboot_your_brain

The working hypothesis at yourbrainonporn.com is that it takes about 90 days from exposure or reinforcement to detach one's mind from the pornographic images. Every time a porn addict gives into the desire to look at porn, he is basically rewarding his brain for having that desire and reinforcing those images in his head. Even if he doesn't look at porn but simply masturbates or looks at non-pornographic images of attractive women, it may be less or a reward, but he is still rewarding that impulse.

Your husband's story was my story for a long time. The reboot process was a huge help. There is some question about the science behind it, but it gave me a target to shoot for. That was important because I know that many of the guys who go through the reboot will have days where it gets easier, and then days where they are strongly triggered and have to say to themselves, "Wait -- it's been 40 days (or however many). I don't want to through that out. I'm going to hang in there.) They get through the temptation and things get easier for a bit.

The guys who eventually achieve long-term success (2+ years so far for me) with this, from my observations, are the ones who take the time to see what porn has been holding them back from. I have an image of a saxophone as my icon here because I'd always wanted to learn to play the sax well, and it occurred to me that if I'd spent as much time practicing the sax as I'd spent watching porn, I could get pretty good at it. I wish I'd though of that 20 years ago, but I am making progress. I suspect your husband would benefit from figuring out what pornography has been taking from him as well, in addition to the damage it's done to his marriage.

I would encourage your husband to seek support. I think in-person groups are probably best, but I used the online forum at yourbrainrebalanced.com and that helped me quite a bit.

Thank you, yes, we've found your brain on porn, I think I've read more than he has atm though! I will pass all this on

I agree with dlansky. It takes several months for the brain to reboot and start to build new neural pathways. Watching porn give a dopamine release similar to using cocaine in the pleasure center of the brain and when that happens a new pathway is forged. Think of it like this. I grew up in the country and in farmland. In the pastures the cows would always take the same path to get to the barn to get fed. Soon there were bare dirt "cow paths" formed. That's kind of what happens in the brain every time we watch porn. In order to form a new path you have to stop using the old one and give that grass time to grow back. If you can choose a new healthier path then the cows will walk one (the addict can continue to chose the healthy route and the brain will reset to that new way of doing it.).
There is a great video that talks about this at: http://www.mymensgroup.net/addiction-recovery-resources.html. Click on the "Sex and the Brain" by Dr. Henslin. He can explain it better than I can. Perhaps you and your hubby can watch it together and it might open up a dialogue about the issue?