Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
Today I was on Netflix, I haven't looked at pornography for a long time, and I saw a picture of people having sex on a movie cover. I thought that I wouldn't actually look at the sex scenes and I was curious, I clicked on it. I was just previewing it and I almost full on watched it.
Then I clicked on another title and did the same thing. I didn't see the actual sex scenes fully, I just forwarded until they will beginning. I saw a man touching a woman's breasts in the preview and then I stopped.
I'm just waiting for the awful regret feeling, and the feeling like you've defiled yourself, you know. Right now I'm bit aroused, but I haven't masturbated yet. And as soon as I recognized that they were sexual scenes I stopped.
Pornography seems so natural, like I'm eating candy or something. But, I suppose I'm ignorant and I don't realize the full potential of pain it can cause me.
I suppose I'm now a relapsing addict. I haven't looked at pornography for months, and it took only photo to get me interested in looking again.
Luckily I stopped where I did, and I didn't finish watching the videos. I didn't really watch them either I just previewed pictures, and I turned it off quickly.
I suppose I have done this before, I keep making excuses and trying to define why I"m not actually being an addict again.
I'm really just so lonely and I feel that pornography is my only option.
I suppose I do feel a little better now that I've meditated on it.
Thank you for reading.
Then I clicked on another title and did the same thing. I didn't see the actual sex scenes fully, I just forwarded until they will beginning. I saw a man touching a woman's breasts in the preview and then I stopped.
I'm just waiting for the awful regret feeling, and the feeling like you've defiled yourself, you know. Right now I'm bit aroused, but I haven't masturbated yet. And as soon as I recognized that they were sexual scenes I stopped.
Pornography seems so natural, like I'm eating candy or something. But, I suppose I'm ignorant and I don't realize the full potential of pain it can cause me.
I suppose I'm now a relapsing addict. I haven't looked at pornography for months, and it took only photo to get me interested in looking again.
Luckily I stopped where I did, and I didn't finish watching the videos. I didn't really watch them either I just previewed pictures, and I turned it off quickly.
I suppose I have done this before, I keep making excuses and trying to define why I"m not actually being an addict again.
I'm really just so lonely and I feel that pornography is my only option.
I suppose I do feel a little better now that I've meditated on it.
Thank you for reading.
Oh, and there's porn on Netflix????? Really??? Im getting worried now because my partner loves Netflix...
Something tells me that you have not even formulated an action plan to deal with the addiction in a constructive manner. If this is the case, why have you not?
Let me tell you something you may not like but I have never been one to avoid the obvious.
Loneliness cannot medicated with porn which I am sure you have noticed. Feeling like that is the only option is not healthy. Why are you still looking for self destructive ways to deal.with your loneliness.
The healthy way to deal with your loneliness is to learn to live alone and that is done by learning to love and accept yourself.
Yet you need to recover from the addiction by either joining a 12 step program or Recovery Nation which is online and it is free so you can learn to live without it.
When I was recovering I had Netflix but I did not use the streaming option, I only ordered the safer DVDs. . I was not going to put myself in a situation where I would be tempted which exactly what needs to happen for you if you are serious about recovery.
The bottom line is that unless you take the addiction for the serious issue that it is and you take the necessary steps to tacke it, nothing much will change.
You will have to decide which is more important: porn or your life. So it is up to to you to make the decision. Just so you know if you keep relapsing you are still deep in the addiction.
You can either face the obvious elephant in the room or you can keep making excuses, it is up to.you.
Wolf