I am not a PA, but I've noticed my husband has issues similar to people who stop smoking...irritability and quick temper. He also either cannot sit still or he does that hyper focus thing, normally with a video or computer game.

Thanks for your reply I guess I could pose this question to both PA's and SO's.

Common side-effects when withdrawing from Porn Use without dealing with the underlying issues include:

(1) REPRESSION ~ this initially shows up as an addict claiming "I'll never use porn again!". They'll also often claim that "I feel no urge to act out" ~ which may be true, though only because they have buried the feeling deep down, and eventually they will POP due to some intense stress and in most cases the Porn Addiction becomes worse than before.

(2) SUBSTITUTION ~ starrbright made the point of her SO hyper-focusing on computer games, this is a clear indication that the SA has simply shifted his or her addiction from sex to games. The underlying reason for the SA has not been addressed and eventually the games will be less satisfying than the sex, and the SA may return to their "friend" when they desire more stimulation.

(3) LOSS & GRIEVING ~ akin to having a friend die, porn becomes a close friend of the SA to whom they rely on to help them deal with pain. Therefore when an SA actually admits to their addiction and truly seeks to recover they will in all likelihood need to approach their recovery initially as if their old sex life has died and that they need to move on to a new healthy sex life.

It might help to buy a book on death or ending a relationship to help the SA understand the letting go aspect of leaving behind their old friend Porn & Addiction. Then they will also be required to learn to live in a whole new way without that friend, which may be scary to someone (like myself) who has relied on that friend for decades and now must figure out new ways of dealing with life and harsh realities without acting out.

and of course there's also our old pal:

(4) RELAPSE ~ which is VERY common. Often the SA will say to him or herself. I feel great, I haven't acted out once in X minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years and that means I can go back and do act out "once" and it shouldn't be a big deal. Unfortunately that one moment turns into minutes, hours, days and eventually years of acting out all over again. I know I've been through it several times and it is HEARTBREAKING.

So in addition to the above other withdrawal elements are: stress, frustration, depression, lost libido, heightened libido, hyper focus, apathy, you name it ~ the key thing to keep in mind is depending on how much of a role the addiction has played in soothing the individual in times of pain will directly relate to how much the SA will need to deal with directly when the recovery process begins ~ which means they will need a lot of support to get through it (& you had better not think that you can provide all that support yourself so encourage them to get support from a therapist or therapists in addition to providing them your support).

My 2 cents (from someone who has been there, is there now and really would like to be successful in his recovery this time around).

Thanks to all who responded, it has helped.