I haven't done that exactly, with the dating sights and texting, but it sounds like a similar pattern to what I did with pornography. It was sometime to do that was easier and momentarily more enjoyable than focusing on meaningful goals and responsibilities.

For me, the process of recovery has involved 1) learning that I do have control of my actions, 2) learning to recognize triggers that will make me want to do the wrong thing, and taking action to avoid those triggers, 3) finding out why I was addicted in the first place, and 4) learning more about who I want to be and what I have to do to be that man.

I recommend the book "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins -- it was a huge help for me in getting on track.

Wow thanks!! That is exactly what I need to do to get out of this rut i'm in. I want to have a stronger, healthier relationship with my girlfriend and i feel like i have a;; these things weighing me down. Im going to go check out that book today. first things first I need to recognize that I am in control and that I have a choice.
thank you Dlansky

The book that also helped me was John Ruskan's "'Emotional Clearing"'.
Ruskan has a website emoclear.com which deals in compulsive behaviour, addictions, anger issues etc. He had a lot of problems himself during his life in the 1980s..
One important thing he says is "'whenever a person acts out compulsively he/she is basically rejecting themselves"" In other words , we run from our inner most feelings and look for an escape into fantasy or drugs, booze etc.
But each time we "'act out"' the feeling grows stronger , comes back at us and takes over ones whole existence. Soon you can't enjoy anything anymore EXCEPT the lust for acting out.
Basically he says the thing to do is ACCEPT the sexual urge when it hits you but DON'T act on it.(this is just it in a nutshell, there is more obviously)
Most recovery plans go about the same advice except in different ways including belief in God, which sort of comes about automatically because the person does make a spiritual connection and feels more radiant when doing what is moral)
I've always sought the advice of "'Oh it's OK...just go ahead and do it because you have a strong sex drive and it's OTHERS who are jealous of you"'..but NO, sadly this affliction is VERY serious and needs to be addressed with discipline.
We become better people if we do so.
Best wishes.

Throw away the cellphone! Or if you really need it drop the texting plan. By the way sexting is cheating!

How many times have we said it: Im not hurting anyone....Im not cheating.....it just involved me. Its good you are on here wanting to stop, but make sure you take action. Get it out in open, talk to someone you can trust, someone you can trust, someone you can trust. This will only get worse for you if you dont quit. I said, this cant hurt anyone, Im bymyself..... I'm by myself alright...now, divorced after 20 years, lost my house that was almost paid off, lost being with my 2 kids everyday, lost a good wife, lost half my income, My ex wife was hurt,,kids hurt, I hurt. Go to a support group and get talking with someone and get help with it. Please.