hello and welcome
thanks for sharing.
When we are weak and at our weakest, our addictions pop up without trouble. They call to us to self medicate instead of listen and learn from ourselves. being able to stop, slow down and love and respect ourselves is a great treasure. When we are compelled to look for a magic 'fix' for our real feelings we fail ourselves.
Understanding why we are lustful, toward porn, sex or acting out help over come the need to cause pain and poison our soul.
Keep writing down your feelings and getting the issue to light, it will allow you to love yourself as you deserve.
7 months clean myself.

I pray you are safe and healthy.

Porn is that slippery slope of merely a way to spice up life to becoming a deep, all-consuming obsession, the end-all/be-all dopamine rush. For me, old age has taken care of this. I can still appreciate a beautiful body, but a certain desensitization has set in--it doesn't have the pull on me that it once did. I can look at a beautiful body and say "that's nice...so what" and mentally move on. Maybe so will it be for you--you just have to wait for yourself to grow older.

I never realized how weak I have been all these years! I always have fallen and said ok to the temptation until I have hurt the one I do love so badly!! Now every time I think about looking I think about the damage I have done and stop! Before I would say well the damage is done and make excuses to do it because I liked it so much! I am at the point that I need to decide what I love more! I am in a sad state right now!

You can do it, trying! It’s still on my mind, but I am stronger than the desire. So are you! Porn is not worth it!

Thank you eab88!!
It has such a hold on me and I needed to hear that so thank you!! You are awesome!!

Five years is incredible, and it's something you can gain back with enough determination and will. You can obviously do it, so take a bit of time and recognize how far you've come. Don't ever sell yourself short on your accomplishments! Every minute not indulging is a victory.

You are so right, Pottsy. I need to get my determination back

And I believe that you can, and you will. If it takes time, that's okay, too. Be generous and courteous with yourself and keep your chin up. You have the power to change things. Best of luck!

Thanks Pottsy! I’m trying to stay positive today. I slipped again last night, but I’m back to my normal work routine, so that should help - the distraction alone will help.

Trying to control the mind will help the body!! It is hard not to reach for instant gratification but we can do it!! We have to make the choice not to!!

im feeling really tempted to watch porn need to talk

As time goes by it gets easier to resist the temptation but it always has a chance of coming back. At the moment i can go weeks without watching porn, in the past, i could not go a day without watching it. Age is progression. Pray is also a progression, it lightens the load of watching porn.

I agree, Pryce! I’ve been doing good for the past week or two. I don’t even feel tempted. But it’ll always be hidden instead, waiting to pounce at your worst moment.