I've been battling this addiction alone for years and it's gotten worse not better. As embarrassed and ashamed as I feel, I can no longer fight alone, I need some way of communicating my disparate struggle with my own subconscious. I'm in a downward spiral of giving into temptation to consume porn, then hate on myself for lack of self control, then run back to porn for comfort, only to hate on myself even more. This depression and subconscious belief system of self deprecation leads to me subconsciously sabotaging relationships leaving me more alone than ever. I hate myself for this and have caught myself entertaining thoughts of suicide before. I refuse to take the easy way out, it would destroy the lives of my children. They need me to be a better father, I need me to be a better man, so that's the last straw of trying to hide my shame and deal with this alone. I know I can't be the only person that is going through something like this, I'm looking for someone that can relate with so we can learn from and lean on each other.  I've been told there's always a way out of temptation, so I'm seeking it.