Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
I have been fighting my addiction to pornography for about 10 years. I am 25, married, and we have a little boy. There were a few times I was able to stop. One was for about two years when I was 19, and the other was for about 6 months when I got married, other than those times, I have been completely addicted. I am getting tired. Tired of being an addict, and tired of fighting it and getting nowhere. I just wish I could make it all go away but I know the only way to do that is too keep fighting. It's just hard to stay encouraged. Can I do this? Can I really ever overcome this and be a good husband and father or am I just stuck with this for life? Please, if there is anyone who has overcome this or is in the process, let me know it can be done.
I recommend the websites yourbrainonporn.com and rebootnation.org. The 90-day reboot was especially helpful for me.
I also found a book called "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins helpful in enabling me to understand that I had more power than I realized to redirect my thoughts and choose different actions.
Prayer also played a MAJOR role in my recovery. Really, the greatest part of recovery wasn't getting the pornography out of my life but getting God back in.
What I ultimately learned was that it wasn't simply about not doing something (e.g. looking at pornography) but rethinking how I look at women, sex and life.
I will say a prayer for you today. I hope I've been able to give you a little hope that this can be overcome.
Like some heroine addicts, when they have kicked their addiction a lot of them go on to be councillers for other addicts. To help them through their problems. These people have to sit there and listen to these new addicts, explaining the loss they feel, explaining what they miss in great detail in front of the one that managed to break that addiction. The person sitting in that chair has learned self discipline, has learned to over come that huge pull into that tempting darkness.
I'd dare say that's its the same as porn/sex addiction, but the huge problem with porn/sex addiction...you will see it everywhere unlike heroine. Heroine isn't exactly displayed on bill boards or on pop-up ads on the computer. It isn't walking past them on the streets or shoved in their faces in movies, games or when they shop online for clothes.
I would suggest that you write down on how you got back into that habit in the first place. For example:
1) Did I see something on TV that made me think of it?
2) Did an ad come up on my computer?
3) Thinking about it while you're being intimate with your wife?
4) While you're bored/alone?
5) Anything around you that is too similar to your odd fetishes etc?
6) Friends talking about certain things?
7) While you're alone fapping?
Another thing to consider is, when and what time of the day do you most think about it? For example, in the mornings...in the evenings... or when your wife has left the house etc etc.
Any old routines that you had before while you're watching it, try and avoid going back into them and start a new one.
What my brother done was (He was really, really bad.) He went to the doctors and went on Bronite I think it is called. It lowers your sex drive...but I strongly suggest that you do it the other way first. Like my brother, he done everything and nothing helped and he went on bronite for a while and then got off them. It helped him slightly, but that was because he was one of the real extream types of sex addicts.
Have you brought any of your fantasies or fetishes into your marriage bed? If so, get rid of it.
Lay of fapping for at least a month or so, no fapping, no dirty thoughts. Nothing. If thoughts do come into your mind, quickly change that thought.
Get rid of your computer, if you cant for work reasons...have in in the livingroom with your wife putting a password on it that only she knows. Get porn blockers, keyloggers etc etc... Have a set timer on it and make your computer go into sleep mode, if you still need to use it...ask your wife to re-enter her password so you can continue your work.
Another good thing I have learned is a rubber band wrapped around your wrist, when that urge starts to surface... pull that band back as far as you can without snapping it. That pinch of pain will help put your mind off certain things.
You can do it, just no sex...no fapping...no dirty thoughts for a while.
Just imagine in a few years time, when you have finally beaten that overwhelming urge. When you can finally be YOU with your family. When porn no longer has a hold on you. It will kill you in the meantime, it will be so crappy, you will hate your life, you will hate everything, but it will pass. You just got to bite your tongue and work through it.
I would also recommened martial arts... martial arts is great for self discipline.
Good luck!!