Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
Hello, my name is Jake, I am 28 years old and live in Pennsylvania.
I
Well if you don't mind helping me out with some input Id like to sum my situation up as short as possible...
First of all I have always had a female foot fetish. I am attracted to women in general, everything about their face, eyes, hair, body, and personallity, but in particulally their feet...just got that fetish thing going on. I am one of those guys. But before I knew what the fetish was it caused me great confusion and anxiety to feel this way. Even after I heard that there was a name for liking woman's feet, I still felt socially awkward about it and couldnt admitt it to myself really or come to grips to share it with any women that entered my life, all my life. So I stayed a virgin with intense social anxiety that got worse and worse as the years went by. Of course I became fond of masturbation, particulallly to woman's feet.
So I became an outcast I suppose. 18, virgin. 19, virgin, 20 virgin, 21, virgin, 22, virgin, 23, virgin, 24, virgin, 25 virgin, 26, virgin, 27, virgin...now im 28, virgin. Masturbating 3-4 times a day to womens feet and haven't even attempted a relationship in about 5 years. So my social anxiety went from panic attacks, phobias, and avoidance to worse symptoms over the years...I started to have intrusive thoughts...gay thoughts, blasphemous thoughts, racial thoughts, all types of UNWANTED intrusive thoughts I couldn't control. Like OCD, pure obsessional. That is why it really caught my eye when I seen in your response you said that the mind will quite the farther along you come with abstinence from masturbation and porn. Well, over the last couple of years I figured that masturbation may be a problem for me that could be the root to all my mental health issues and if it isn't the root then it definately could qualify to fit in the category of "things not helping my mental health" whatever the root may be, masturbation only makes it worse. So I have many attemps at quitting over the last 2 years. I have gone 2 weeks one time...4 days, 9 days....it would vary from week to week, month to month, but I was trying.
So I have relapsed many times...just recently I went 8 days and relapsed. Everytime I relapse I realize a couple things before it happens. 1. Masturbation is not what I want anymore.
2. My symptoms are going to be stronger for the first couple days after I relapse, always are...so what does that go to show me??
Anyways, I did notice that my intrusive thoughts seem to die down, sometimes becoming nothing more than a light background noise the longer I stay abstitnent. When I do give in and relapse it is usually because I become so built up and horney that I feel like im going to implode....I know I wont die, and even though my thoughts are becoming cleared...my sexual organs feel heavy and quiver. So I give in after like 2 weeks usually. I havent ever made it to a full month and that is my target this time. I am 2 days clean this morning.
I
Well if you don't mind helping me out with some input Id like to sum my situation up as short as possible...
First of all I have always had a female foot fetish. I am attracted to women in general, everything about their face, eyes, hair, body, and personallity, but in particulally their feet...just got that fetish thing going on. I am one of those guys. But before I knew what the fetish was it caused me great confusion and anxiety to feel this way. Even after I heard that there was a name for liking woman's feet, I still felt socially awkward about it and couldnt admitt it to myself really or come to grips to share it with any women that entered my life, all my life. So I stayed a virgin with intense social anxiety that got worse and worse as the years went by. Of course I became fond of masturbation, particulallly to woman's feet.
So I became an outcast I suppose. 18, virgin. 19, virgin, 20 virgin, 21, virgin, 22, virgin, 23, virgin, 24, virgin, 25 virgin, 26, virgin, 27, virgin...now im 28, virgin. Masturbating 3-4 times a day to womens feet and haven't even attempted a relationship in about 5 years. So my social anxiety went from panic attacks, phobias, and avoidance to worse symptoms over the years...I started to have intrusive thoughts...gay thoughts, blasphemous thoughts, racial thoughts, all types of UNWANTED intrusive thoughts I couldn't control. Like OCD, pure obsessional. That is why it really caught my eye when I seen in your response you said that the mind will quite the farther along you come with abstinence from masturbation and porn. Well, over the last couple of years I figured that masturbation may be a problem for me that could be the root to all my mental health issues and if it isn't the root then it definately could qualify to fit in the category of "things not helping my mental health" whatever the root may be, masturbation only makes it worse. So I have many attemps at quitting over the last 2 years. I have gone 2 weeks one time...4 days, 9 days....it would vary from week to week, month to month, but I was trying.
So I have relapsed many times...just recently I went 8 days and relapsed. Everytime I relapse I realize a couple things before it happens. 1. Masturbation is not what I want anymore.
2. My symptoms are going to be stronger for the first couple days after I relapse, always are...so what does that go to show me??
Anyways, I did notice that my intrusive thoughts seem to die down, sometimes becoming nothing more than a light background noise the longer I stay abstitnent. When I do give in and relapse it is usually because I become so built up and horney that I feel like im going to implode....I know I wont die, and even though my thoughts are becoming cleared...my sexual organs feel heavy and quiver. So I give in after like 2 weeks usually. I havent ever made it to a full month and that is my target this time. I am 2 days clean this morning.
Perhaps it would behoove you to join a recovery program for your addiction like Recovery Nation which is free and online and for a fee you can be helped by a mentor. Several folks on here have had success with it so long as the stick with the program.
When you are trying to quit porn addiction, your sex drive with go on super speed because of lack of images, input, this is normal, it is suggested to stop masturbating for 90 days so the link between porn and addiction is broken. I, personally, took bike rides, left the house, went to public places to I would not be tempted to find a time alone where I could indulge.
I also wore slightly tighter clothing at night to reduce the temptation to indulge while I am lying down, took lots of cold showers, and if it got to be impossible to bear, I called my accountability partner and we would just talk, I found that talking about the problem made it more urgent, so I would switch my focus.
Maybe I am different but in anything in life where there is an issue or a problem, I was always proactive, so find ways to avert urges not ways where your urge becomes unbearable, does that make sense?
Find out why you'd rather give in than keep on your resolve. The key here is not to resist the urge as it is surrender, feel the feeling but you do not have to give in. I found that if I find out what I really want, find the trigger, I was more able to avert relapse, than giving in to it.
Keeping in mind that porn, fetish are outside sources thus they only have power when you give it to them, so if you believe yourself to be stronger than an outside source, your chances of succeeding than if you allow something as insipid as porn win over you, would you not say?
As for the fetish, this is outside my realm of knowledge, so perhaps a visit to a therapist may be beneficial to you, to address that aspect of your addiction which to me has become a tool to indulge in your porn addiction, since they are linked, perhaps looking into it with a professional may help you even further.
Best of luck to you,
Wolf