For many years, I was addicted to pornography. It took away the ability to get aroused. I feel like I am healing everything is working properly and I only have desire for my wife and not a pixelated screen and it's been a long time coming. I am getting better. Things are working again and I feel great. I will never go back to my old habits because those habits have cost me a lot and I do not want to go back.

It started when I was exposed to it at 12. Bought a mag, got caught reading it got group sex sex for a month. After that, I was curious about it and the addiction started. 

It got bad until I was 28. I thought getting married would fix it. No. It was harder because I was with a real women and she didn't have desires like porn did. What it taught me was that it was all fake. It was disappointing to be rejected, but that was the porn mentality I had at the time. 

These desires were unnatural and false. Real desire is loving a woman without sex all the time. 

Sex is beautiful in a marriage but when pornography takes over it destroys things. I know this because I felt the effects firsthand and I do not wish for any man or woman to be exposed to it because it will destroy your marriages it will destroy relationships and it will destroy you ultimately.

I am proud to say that porn has less of a hold on me, but I cannot rest yet. Temptation will come my way. IIam still journaling and I am still fighting and I'm still keeping accounts short.

I will not quit.