Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
The primer:
Few men in the US have NEVER masturbated. Few men in some other countries have ever masturbated because it is seen as weakness. (read that)
Some men masturbate without objectifying or fantiasizing. These men typically stop or seldom masturbate after they merry. A simple physical function.
Finally, there is the group that use it for other reasons like to medicate unaddressed pain, or all the other compluslive reasons addicticts struggle.
My question is this. Is it possible to teach my children how to manage masturbation in a non-objectifying non compulsive healthy way. And if so, what are your ideas.
I am thinking
-open discucssions to elimiate the shame of it being a sceret because you do it in private.
- keep your eyes open.
- avoid any pornography to minimize the images to fantasize about.
- scheduling it rather than doing it when you feel like it.
- being accountable to someone when you do it and be gently caring about addressing any unhealthy feelings or behaviours that may result.
My reason for asking these quesitons is that besides Onan's sin of disobedience, and being cerimonially unclean for a day, the bible is silent, so I am thinking the sin is not the masturbation, it is the idolotry in the mind. For me it is a problem because I am an addict. But if I had never been exposed to pornography, not been abused, and had supportive open parents about these matters, maybe I would be able to have fit in the middle catagory of it being no big deal.
Any thoughts?
Few men in the US have NEVER masturbated. Few men in some other countries have ever masturbated because it is seen as weakness. (read that)
Some men masturbate without objectifying or fantiasizing. These men typically stop or seldom masturbate after they merry. A simple physical function.
Finally, there is the group that use it for other reasons like to medicate unaddressed pain, or all the other compluslive reasons addicticts struggle.
My question is this. Is it possible to teach my children how to manage masturbation in a non-objectifying non compulsive healthy way. And if so, what are your ideas.
I am thinking
-open discucssions to elimiate the shame of it being a sceret because you do it in private.
- keep your eyes open.
- avoid any pornography to minimize the images to fantasize about.
- scheduling it rather than doing it when you feel like it.
- being accountable to someone when you do it and be gently caring about addressing any unhealthy feelings or behaviours that may result.
My reason for asking these quesitons is that besides Onan's sin of disobedience, and being cerimonially unclean for a day, the bible is silent, so I am thinking the sin is not the masturbation, it is the idolotry in the mind. For me it is a problem because I am an addict. But if I had never been exposed to pornography, not been abused, and had supportive open parents about these matters, maybe I would be able to have fit in the middle catagory of it being no big deal.
Any thoughts?
I have a great relationship with him, but if i start talking about it, i fear the embarrassment will stop him from listening any further anyway.
It is a fair question though, how do we approach this topic with them?
Or more poinient. Would he be more or less embarrassed saying "Hi, I am _____, I am a sex addict" 25 years from now because he lost himself in like I did, because I did it in total issolation with no information. (though my Mom did complain about how much conditioner I used in the shower, with a telling smile).
By the way, I interpreted this jesting as they knew exactly what I was doing, but were not willing to get over THEIR embarrassment to talk to me about it. Yet another validation of my own distructive self-reliance.
Excuse my unsensored response... Still curious for more feedback.
Sex is a private matter and should be, so where is the line between private discression and secretive shame? Maybe I should ask my Dad? No wait.....
Having said that, the control perspective is worth considering. I considered replacing sex addiction with OCD. My wife liked the idea, but it was just too much work for me!
Nothing better than spending date night organizing the silverware.
I think just ensuring that the lines of communication are kept open should be moer than enough to ensure a healthy view of sex and masturbation in children. Remember, just cause you are addicted doesn't necessarily mean your child is or will be.